1) Plan any outdoor event: a picnic, a ballgame, throw an outdoor wedding, have a yard sale, ride a hot air balloon. Don’t worry about the weather. There’s no chance of rain!
2) Lock up your lawnmower and watch the grass die.
3) Wash your car. Really. Go ahead. You’re safe. It’s not going to rain.
4) Revel in reading that dry newspaper. It won’t get wet out there. It never rains!
5) Learn to love all those subtle shades of brown. Look around you… the trees, grass, shrubs, your garden… wonderful muted earth-tones are everywhere!
6) Hang your clothes out to dry. Leave them out for days, if you like. They may get covered in bird poop. (Birds still poop in a drought.) But they won’t get rained on!
7) Quit worrying that your leaky basement will flood. It doesn’t rain anymore!
8) Everyone likes to talk about the weather. Gather statistics on the history of droughts in your area. Impress your friends and neighbors with juicy tidbits like, “You think this drought is bad? Why, in1936…”
9) Leave the car windows down and the sunroof open. The seats won’t get wet. Fuggedaboudit… the sky is so frickin’ constipated, it may take a Holy enema to get it to cut loose!
10) And if that’s not enough to keep you entertained, write more articles for AC. Drought provides an ever-brown hot topic!
Ray of hope: Since I first wrote about the drought in southern Indiana a month ago, we had two inadequate rains. But the temperatures have dropped to a nice frisky chill… under still-sunny skies, of course, and the scent of fall is finally perking up the air. And now the TV weather reporters are giddily pointing at their maps to real soaking rains in the west that appear to be headed our way next week. Ya never know, but I say bring it on. Their lips to God’s ear!