Bros like women. Bros like sports. Bros play video games. Play these games and you might be a bro.
1. NCAA Football (Whatever Year): Definitely a bro’s favorite. Walk into a frat and your guaranteed to see at least one playing bro playing NCAA football. Bros play NCAA because they love football. Bros pick SEC teams. Bros love Bama. Hot chicks go to Bama. Bros especially love tailgates. Bros love getting wasted at said tailgate and later shouting profanity at the opposing team and their fans at football games. When it’s not game day, bros play NCAA football. It reminds them of the glory days in high school football. So what if a bro was second string kicker? Bros nailed so many jersey chasers back then it didn’t even matter. Drink beer, play NCAA Football, scream at television, bone a babe later.
2. FIFA: Every bro has played soccer at some point in his life. Bros don’t play for teams; they play for clubs. At least they do when they play FIFA. FIFA is played in Europe. Bros love Europe. Europe has tons of beer and big-breasted women. Europe is pretty sweet, but Oktoberfest is GDI. Bros on Vicadin can out drink any German. FIFA is the closest thing every bro has to getting sweaty with Landon Donovan. Landon Donovan is GOD. Every bro knows he downs a brick before every game.
3. Mario Kart: Toad is the epitome of GDI. Real-life Toad would wear jorts and a Nickelback t-shirt he got at the local county fair. Toad makes bros mad. Regardless, bros still love Mario Kart. Drunk chicks love Mario Kart. Mario Kart leads to fornication.
Honorable mentions: Super “Smashed” Bros and NFL “Blitzed.” Bros play these games to get hammered. Real bros bong a beer every time their player dies or for every time they score…depending on the game of course. The last person to pass out is deemed Super “Smashed” Bros / NFL “Blitzed” Champion. This honor is carried with pride.
Play these games and you might be a bro. Play Halo or Call of Duty and you are a geed.