There are as many types of Facebook friends as there are Facebook members. And something that annoys me might not even make a blip on your radar. But I’ve been musing on this for a while and finally found my top five most annoying types of Facebook friends. For the sake of civility, I’ll avoid listing their names.
1. The Lurker
The Lurker is an actual person. You met them and actually ran in the same social circles with them for a while. You, or they, moved and years later you receive, and accept, a friend request from them. That’s it. That’s all. That was 5 years ago. Since you’ve become their friend, they’ve never answered any private messages you sent to touch base again. Nor do they even have a status. They just sit there, occasionally adding friends (yes, you’ve checked) but that is the extent of their interaction with you, or anyone, on this “social” page.
Lurkers just feel creepy. I’ll bet when they aren’t on Facebook reading about other peoples’ lives, they’re walking along urban sidewalks at night watching other peoples’ lives.
2. The Gamer
The Gamer is obviously thrilled by the number and variety of Facebook games and plays them with great devotion. You truly do not begrudge them this pleasure. And, truly, it isn’t an issue when I access Facebook via the laptop, as I can simply “hide” the game, the results of the game or the black sheep of the game who’ve wandered away. It only becomes an issue when I’m trying to access Facebook by my iPhone. I don’t have the option on the mobile Facebook to “hide” such game-related news and it takes up so much page space that I lose news and updates that I’d enjoy – if I could find it!
3. The Application Junky
The Application Junky is the one that takes advantage of each and every application that happens across Facebook. Thus, I receive on an almost-daily basis: virtual roses, tequila shots, quizzes about my life, hugs, and once, even “a Hitler.”
I have two issues with this. First, to “respond” to any of these items, I have to “allow” information to be shared. I’m not quite sure of the reasons why or implications of sharing all my friends’ information to send someone back a tequila shot. What I am sure of is that most of the Facebook viruses or weirdness happens with those Applications. Thus, I’d rather not use them. My second issue is related to “The Gamer,” above. All these quaint or cute or cutting or cool or drool or ironic applications are illustrated with ridiculously large pictures. “Large” is not a friendly adjective to the mobile version of Facebook.
4. The Lost Tweeters
The Lost Tweeters, God bless’ em, have somehow confused their social media. They post the minutia of their lives, almost moment-to-moment, on the wrong social network. Even if they are initially amusing, I start to become a little bored by Update #284 (of the day) and I’m positively comatose by Update #411. Luckily, I can use the “hide” button so as to actually be able to read news from other friends. Sadly, the button hides all their updates.
5. The Sad Sacks
The Sad Sacks are the Charlotte Bronte characters of Facebook. They’re probably lying back on a chaise with their eyes bright from a TB-fever as they feebly type in their incredibly vague, but melodramatic status updates. So, I’m treated to such gems as “Sigh,” “What’s the use?” or “Why are people so….” One Facebook friend used so many of these in one evening that I feared that he might be suicidal. These Sad Sacks are curious creatures to me. Do they think that they’re being clever by being vague? Haven’t they noticed that their melodrama is rarely answered?
Do you recognize some of your Facebook “friends” from this list? Perhaps we share them in common.