Your emotional and physical health are very important. Healthy relationships are those where couples nourish and build each other up. Couples may not agree with each other all of the time, but they do respect the other’s opinions. Healthy relationships are so so good for us. Maybe you have said to yourself, “I stay in the relationship, because I love him.” Maybe you have said to yourself, “He loves me.” Well if he loves you, why does he /she beat you? Abusers can be male or female. A controller actually can smother your emotional well-being. A controller that wants to know where you are every minute of the day can be frustrating, possibly making you feel like you are in an invisible prison. A controller that is over demanding can stifle you and the growth of the relationship.
2. Nervous & Tense
Staying in an abusive relationship can cause you to feel nervous, jittery, and tense. Having to walk around on “eggshells” because you are afraid of saying the wrong thing to an abuser can destroy your emotional well-being.
3. Mr. or Miss Right
By staying in an abusive relationship, you may be missing “Mr. Right or Miss Right.” “Mr. Or Miss Right” could be looking you right in the face, but you are to preoccupied in trying to fix this abusive relationship. A friend of mine once said, “You could be an angel, but no matter what you do, it will never be enough.” Why not choose a relationship that is healthy? There is no need to stay in an abusive relationship where he or she is constantly calling u “too fat”, “you are a looser” “you will never amount to anything”, “no one else wants you because you are so ugly. ” Those type of remarks are demeaning and they tear down your self-esteem rather than build you up.
You deserved to be happy. Life is too short. Why not choose a relationship where you can find happiness? Again, I say there is no need to stay in an abusive relationship. Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. Why not choose to be happy?
You deserve respect. To receive respect, you will need to stop allowing your abuser to mistreat you. Your abuser may try to always demean you in order for him or her to feel better.
a. Sometimes a restraining order may be needed to protect yourself from the abuser.
b. Be sure to have a backup plan when you leave the abuser, such as alerting your employer in the event he/she may come to your workplace.
c. Alert neighbors also.
d. Alert the schools, if you have children that are with you.
e. Be sure to do your homework and find out all that you need to do to protect yourself from the abuser. Search the internet, go to the library, and/or accept the knowledge of others that have been in this type of situation.
f. You owe nothing to the abuser so do not be afraid to inform him/her after the fact that you are gone. There is no such thing as sitting down and talking calmly and rationally with your abuser. He/she may just use that as another excuse to hit you.
g. Some abusers know just where to hit their victims so that it is not visible to others.