You want the judge to rule in your favor. Keep in mind that you are halfway there if you got him to sign off on the temporary one the first time around due to enough evidence shown to him. It is normal to be scared to death to face the abuser in court. Never underestimate an abuser. Here are five tips on how to win a protective order hearing against your abusive ex husband.
You can get a protective order issued against your ex husband quite easily when he has been arrested for domestic violence against you. The evidence that you need is already plastered all over the court system and police records. If you didn’t have your ex-husband arrested then bring in any witnesses and hospital records. Bring in everything and be prepared for anything. Remember that abusers will try to have the upper hand in order to try to scare you.
Don’t Appear Nervous
Nervous is court will only mess you up in the head. You want to have someone else with you to speak on your behalf. You don’t want to mess up the court hearing so therefore it is best to bring along a women’s advocate with you so you don’t upset the judge. There are several things that people don’t know that you shouldn’t do in court.
Mentally Prepare Yourself That Everything You Stated Will Be Shown To The Abuser
You may be surprised to find out that the abuser was shown everything that you wrote to the judge and evidence submitted to ask him to sign off on a temporary protective order against your abuser. Your abuser has a right according to the law to see what has been submitted. The word is called discovery in some states that gives the defendant the right to see what has been filed. The stuff that the judge gets to read usually isn’t made available to the public since some states see it as a private issue between both parties.
Your abuser may try to negotiate with you so that his name isn’t dragged through the court system anymore in front of his family and friends to see. Fight and fight until the judge really sees what he is like. Some situations the man flips out in court and threatens you which further implies to the judge what his behavior is really like towards you. He own coworkers or clients may even know about his situation if they found out about his arrest. There are things your ex husband won’t be able to hide no matter how bad he really wants to put it all behind him. Let him know by your actions that you will not back down on your attempts to obtain a forever protective order against him since silence is what abusers rely on order to let the abuse keep happening again and again.
Make Sure You Have Documents For Every Year That You Claim It Happened
You want to walk in there with all the ducks in a row lined up. Every accusation that you make you have to have something as proof to back what you say otherwise it is just considered he said she said. You want to present the judge with every police report that you ever filed against your abusive ex husband. Don’t assume that the judge will lift every police report that you filed to read it even though most states do it now. The courts and the police system assume that the abuse never happened unless there is a report filed to back it up or enough witnesses around that day.
There are several people willing to help you through the court system against your abusive ex husband. You just need to accept the help from a women’s advocate that helps women go through the difficult process. They understand the feelings of being scared and feel like that you might lose. You have enough power and fight left in you to win the protective order court battle against your abusive ex husband. Leaving your abusive ex husband was the first step on the road to success and happiness.