People always tell you, “Life will never be the same again after you have children.” Fortunately and unfortunately, this statement is true. Some things change for the better and if we’re being honest, some things change for the, let’s call it, not so better. As a mother of 4-year-old twin boys and a 7-week old son, the list of things that have changed since I became a mother goes on and on. For the sake of time, and to not scare you out of parenting entirely, here are my top five.
1. My Body Will Never Be the Same Again
Keep in mind I did have twins so the pregnancy train was a little more unfair to me than everyone else. Your body can only stretch so far! No miracle cream will ever wipe away the hundreds of stretch marks my twins left behind and my hips will never be quite as small as they were. Thankfully I have a husband who doesn’t mind my new body, or at least says he doesn’t!
Ever heard a man say, “I better get as much as I can now, because after we’re married the sex will stop”? Replace “we’re married” with “we have children”. Eventually things should return to normal, but let it be known, nothing kills the mood faster than a crying baby, or a puking toddler, or, “mommy, I just went potty in my bed”, or…you get the picture.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a girl who went out on Saturday nights. She would put on make-up and perfume, and spend an hour getting her hair ready. She would go to a club and dance the night away with her friends. She rarely returned home before 2 am. Then one day she learned she was pregnant. The end. Okay, so it’s not really that bad, but I do think the last time I went out with friends and didn’t return home until after 2 am was New Years Eve 2007. The key here is, IT DOESN’T BOTHER ME. My priorities have changed. I would rather be at home spending time with my kids. They grow up so fast and I don’t want to miss a life changing moment, because I am out a little bit tipsy at the bar. But don’t worry; you’ll see me again some day. I’ll be one of those “old” people out clubbing it up!
4. “Ick Level”
I never thought I would see the day where getting a little poop on my hand wouldn’t gross me out. It happens at least once a day around here with a 7-week old. And pee! I can’t say much about girls, because I only have boys, but you better watch out with my newest son. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been peed on. Then there’s vomit. What can I say about vomit? This one still turns my stomach a little, but I can clean it up! Now that’s saying something.
I usually manage to get make-up on every day if I am going out in public. I’ve learned curly hair is a gift, because you can just add a little frizz killer and let it dry naturally. My usual attire is jeans, tennis shoes and a comfy top or hoody. I also sometimes sport this awesome apron, otherwise known as an “Udder Cover”, to breastfeed in public. Oh, and in case you weren’t in the know, diaper bags are the new purse.