Batman’s other half of the dynamic duo, Robin, is often ridiculed by comic book fans. Robin is seen as an inferior character to Batman because he’s not as dark or “cool”. Robin wears bright clothes and he’s actually a nice guy that is able to make friends, unlike Batman. The truth is that at one point Batman sales were decreasing and adding Robin gave the series the kick in the pants it needed to survive. The original Robin grew up to be Nightwing, a better version of Batman and the current Robin isn’t bad either. For the comic book fans that want to complain about sidekicks there are far worse offenders.
Was Robin a chump compared to Batman? Of course he was, that’s why he was the sidekick, but at least the Robin character wasn’t obvious racism. Most of the sidekicks at the time were extreme stereotypes. Crimson Avenger’s Chinese sidekick, Wing, was originally a martial artist that could kick butt. I guess that is one of the least offensive stereotypes but later he got retooled and the new Wing could not pronounce the letter “r”. Eventually Wing would sacrifice his life on some mission but I’m convinced he survived and is now singing “Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra, Ra Ra Ra Ra” at a Chinese restaurant for those people whose Christmas dinner was ruined.
2) Any Animal Sidekick
Has there ever been a superhero that had an animal as a sidekick and it didn’t suck? All you need to know about how lame having an animal as a sidekick is look at Aquaman. All his friends are animals (okay, they’re actually fish) and he’s the lamest superhero ever! In fact, all fiction needs to do away with pet sidekicks, except for Snakeyes pet timber wolf in G. I. Joe.
3) Boy Buddies
So, let’s not beat around the bush. There have been many jokes regarding Robin and his sexuality. I don’t know if it started with his awful costume or just that it’s strange that a grown man, Bruce Wayne, would adopt a teenage boy. But whatever the reason, Robin pales in comparison to the Boy Buddies. I’m not making that up, their name was really the Boy Buddies. The Boy Buddies were Roy the Super-Boy (sidekick of The Wizard) and Dusty the Boy Detective (sidekick of The Shield). When they weren’t busy with their mentors they went on adventures together and they were actually the first crossover in comic books. Reading an issue of the Boy Buddies is like watching an episode of SNL’s Ambiguously Gay Duo, except it wasn’t supposed to be funny.
4) Etta Candy
Even the most casual comic book fan knows that Batman has a sidekick but not all of them realize that Wonder Woman once did also. Wonder Woman had a sidekick name Etta Candy and her gimmick was that she was fat. That’s it. When she talked she would say stuff about being fat or wanting to eat. When she helped Wonder Woman it was usually by ramming her fat body into the enemy. The writers of Wonder Woman deserve a kick in the pants for the way they thought of overweight people. Clearly they don’t have a nice big-boned in their body.
I’m a big Green Lantern fan but until a few years ago I had not read any issues older than my birth. I picked up the Green Lantern Showcase and saw that Green Lantern had a sidekick named Pieface. “Oh, pieface, that’s a cute little nickname”, I thought. Little did I know at the time (being the innocent guy I am) that pieface is actually a derogatory name for a person of Inuit descent. Okay, I knew that people were a lot more racist back then but you can’t just name your character a derogatory name for a foreign person. That’s crazy!
6) Whitewash Jones and 7) Slow Motion
We live in the 21st Century so we’d like to think that people today are above racism. Racism still exists though and we probably all know at least one person that is racist in some way. Imagine that person in your head. Take their level of racism and multiple it by 5 billion. That is how racist the writers of Whitewash Jones were. Whitewash Jones was an early black comic book character. Whitewash Jones was the sidekick of Bucky, you know, the sidekick of Captain America. Since Jones was black he couldn’t even be a sidekick, he had to be a sidekick’s sidekick.
Later the Whizzer had a sidekick named Slow Motion that got to be his actually sidekick and not a sidekick’s sidekick. Unfortunately, like Whitewash Jones, Slow Motion was portrayed as the dumbest comic book character ever and talked like a stereotypical slave, saying words like “sho” instead of sure, “dey” instead of they, “yassuh” instead of yes sir and using the word ain’t about as often as a normal person would use the word “the”..