Sure, you got the house with no problem and even at a premium price off what the seller was asking. Buying the house is just the beginning. Now you have to decorate and you want your house to look like no other. Decorating a house should ideally result in a reflection of your very soul in the commercial products made by Big Bidness. Some of you may not possess the spatial and visual acuity necessary to bring off a statement of personality through design. That’s where I come in. I’m a writer and an interior designer. I’m both. Except the interior designer.
1) Shelving that spans the length of an entire wall allows you to enjoy the simplicity of minimalist interior design while showing off your collection of Pez dispensers, 1960s tin ray-guns or baseballs autographed by non-steroidal home run champs.
2) Design your kitchen for maximum storage efficiency by creating lower cabinets with thin compartments where you can easily store frying pans and lids. Make the back of the cabinet larger for storing the pots that those lids cover.
3) Have you ever seen one of those old-fashioned multiple-message billboards where the piece turn to create a new image? You can utilize the same concept across the width of a large window by installing louvered blinds and painting a design, pattern or image on them that only comes to life when the shades or drawn shut.
4) Tired of walking across the same boring floor or carpet? Own your floor by painting it. Whether there is a concrete slab beneath the carpet or you currently have stained wood flooring, you can find a paint that is up to the job. In fact, you could paint the floor so that it resembles one of those Persian rugs you’ve always wanted, but could never afford. Math geeks can paint abstract formulas. Those with wanderlust can paint a map of the world and mark each site they have visited. Floor painting is the next big thing so get it done before it has the chance to become a trend that sweeps the nation like Beatlemania or the O.J. Simpson trial.
5) Building a new dream kitchen? Consider installing concrete countertops. Crazy, am I? Did you know that you can get professionals to craft the concrete that it looks so much like wood that your friends won’t believe you until they touch it. Concrete kitchen counters are also able to be customized and personalized by imprinting objects within it. It’s just like Marilyn Monroe putting her…hands is cement out the Chinese Theater, except that your imprint can be pretty much any object that will set.
6) Have a small staircase that just needs a little something extra to give it oomph? Interior design is all about oomph and to hades with functionality. Wall off the stairway with those glass blocks. That way, whenever anyone walks down the steps you’ll only see them as a vague shape moving down almost like a straggly haired onryo in an Asian horror flick.
7) They say Rembrandt painted with light and to that I can attest. One of the art museums in D.C. has a painting by Rembrandt on the wall that from the rest sofa in the center of the gallery looks as if a light has been placed just behind a certain segment of the painting. It’s amazing. Light is your best friend when you need to renovate or remodel or redo your house. Downlights cast elegant pools of light onto a surface below to create the kind of atmosphere that Gordon Willis gave Francis Coppola in The Godfather. Uplighting creates weird shadows like was used in the Frankenstein. Most people have a lighting design in their house that is more like the 10:00 news.
8) If your house has more open space than you would like, but you don’t want to go through the pain or expense of walling, consider the effect of screens. Decorative screens can fit right into your design style, but also are a movable feast. When company comes over, you can easily move the screens to provide more space. If you want to work on your laptop while your spouse is eager to watch The Big Bang Theory and the kid is doing homework, each of you can have your own little slice of life by utilizing screens. It’s a very Zen way of providing familiarity and privacy.
9) A bed is a bed is bed, right? Wrong, Buckwheat. Beds have changed mightily over the centuries and you can transform you bedroom by changing the slumber pillow beneath. If you live in a Tudor style house, try to raise the cash for a walnut four-poster with not just a canopy over you, but a carved wood ceiling. The sleigh bed design is actually called an empire-style bed and traces back to the mid-1800s at least. If you’ve got a lot of stuff you want to exhibit, get a bed with storage beneath so you can free up the space it would have taken.