In this series (view lesson 1 here), we will discuss the concept of romance as it relates to us men, and what we need to understand about what women find romantic, versus what some of us think they find romantic. Not surprisingly, these can be vastly different things. This is no easy educational process, because most women find different things romantic. And, to make things more complex, the timing or mood might change their perception of romance. Are you confused yet? If not, then you aren’t paying attention.
Last time: Lesson 1
Last time we discussed the concepts of flowers, food and bodies. I trust that none of you were injured as a result of the first lesson, or you probably wouldn’t be back for more. So here we go, this week we are talking about humor and chivalry. What’s that? No it isn’t dead, stop reading the tabloids and pay attention.
Sense of Humor
I learned at a very young age that almost every woman responds well to a respectful sense of humor in a man. I only found one in my travels that did not, Mrs. “R” we’ll call her. She was my High School librarian, and she had absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. None. I tried, believe me.
Just about everyone has a distinct physiological response to laughter in that it relaxes the person and puts them in a state of greater comfort. When we make our wives or girlfriends laugh, we are putting them at ease. It also serves as a way for them to see that we are playful and not too serious all the time. Telling jokes is one thing, but setting up the perfect gag is an art form that has to be practiced. Some people, whether intentional or not, are just naturally funny. Sometimes, the rest of us just need some ideas.
If you are certain that your wife is the only one home, dress up in a fig leaf (make sure the blinds are shut) and tell her that you are her “Adam”. Be careful here, if she too has a sense of humor you could be the next “viral” video on Youtube. If you can’t find a leaf big enough (stop laughing and focus) then make one out of construction paper. Don’t tape it to yourself! Use a piece of string or something to wrap around your waist. She will be laughing about this for years… wait a minute, make sure she is not the “story telling” type before you attempt this gag or your grandchildren will make fun of you.
Surprise her with tickets to a comedy club. Make sure the comedian is not too “blue”, sometimes that can be very “unfunny” for a date night, especially for more mature tastes. You can always call the club for more information, but this is a great date night idea that will have you both in a good mood for hours afterward.
I heard a story once about a guy that worked the front office for a comedy club here in town. When someone called and asked “Is the headliner tonight blue?”, he replied with “No ma’am, he is actually Asian”. Some people are thicker than others.
Some things that women do not find funny:
1. Passing gas
2. Comments about other women’s bodies
3. Toilet humor
4. Cruel or degrading comments or jokes
5. My articles
No you have not been transported back in time, chivalry is still appropriate in the 21st century. In fact, it is more important now than ever before, because it is a rarity in our society. I once saw a man drop his wife off in front of the mall, run around the car to let her out, then run up to the doors to let her inside the mall. All before he parked the car. I was so shocked I decided not to steal his vintage Cobra that he left running in front of the place. But what I did notice, was a younger couple nearby. The woman said very loudly “I wish you would treat me like that sometimes”.
No matter what she says to be polite, she wants to feel special and important to you. Treat her well and you will be rewarded. “When Momma’s happy, everybody’s happy” (thanks for the quote Grandpa).
I learned a long time ago (thanks Grandma) that a man should always:
1. Open a door for a lady (this includes car doors)
2. Tip his hat (even a ball cap)
3. Remove his hat at dinner (there are no exceptions here, I had “hat head” for many dinners with Grandma)
4. Pull out her chair and scoot it back in when she sits (even when she excuses herself to the powder room)
5. Compliment his wife on how good she looks, even if she thinks she doesn’t
6. Give her his coat if she is cold
7. Pay! This “going Dutch” crap is for the birds and should be insulting to anyone who is Dutch. A man pays and that’s that.
I heard one of those “worst date ever” stories recently where a young woman was taken to one of those big places with all the video games and such. The young man she was with (1st date) asked her if she was going to get her own game card or if she was just going to watch him play. I am pretty sure he is still single.
Be chivalrous, whenever you can. It shows respect and, through your actions, shows that you cherish your partner. Even if your partner laughs or chides you for this behavior, she enjoys the special treatment, trust me. There are a few things you don’t want to do however.
What you do NOT want to do is:
1. Order for her at a restaurant
2. Make her walk two steps behind you
3. make her ride on your motorcycle for a night out
4. Tell her you learned all this from some yahoo on Yahoo!
Next time, we tackle some serious stuff. Take notes, because we will cover compliments and attention to detail. And there will be a test.