So we’re on to Part 2 of informing our senior population (I’m one of them) about some of the young teen celebrities of today. In Part 1, we were introduced to Justin Bieber, The Jonas Brothers, and Demi Lovato. Since the information we learned was so spellbinding, let’s check out some other young teen celebrities whose faces are plastered on the front of tabloids and teen magazines today. To make us even cooler to our children and grandchildren, let’s first talk about those fun lovin’ Twilight kids who never seem to smile.
Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart play Edward and Bella, the Twilight lovebirds. In spite of being majorly in love with one another, they sure don’t look like it. They both seem to have that “deer in the headlights” look perpetually on their faces. Although I have to say that they do manage to convey passion on the screen, which is to their credit. Let me explain a little further since this is where it gets a tad confusing.
Edward and Bella are sort of like the Romeo and Juliet of today, with one big exception. Romeo and Juliet were idiots who killed themselves for love. Edward and Bella don’t do that. Not really anyway. Edward is a vampire and Bella is not. Although she wants to become one so she can stay young with Edward. But Edward doesn’t want her to since he knows being a vampire is not all it’s cracked up to be. Such deep issues to deal with when we’re talking about young love, aren’t they? Maybe that is what that pained look is on their faces.
The first Twilight movie established Edward and Bella as a couple. The second Twilight movie brought in another guy who gave Edward a bit of a run for his money. He’s a young actor named Taylor Lautner who played Jacob. Now Jacob is not a vampire. He is a werewolf. Yes, I know, you’re starting to lose interest since it’s getting a little too weird for us older folks. But bear with me here. It gets better.
Edward and Bella and Jacob are in a love triangle. See? Isn’t that better? In the first Twilight movie, Jacob was just a skinny little kid running around. But he did some major body building in between movies and burst on to the screen in the second Twilight movie looking like a guy on the cover of one of those historical romance novels. You know, the ones where his long black hair is longer than hers and while it’s blowing in the wind, his one hand is raised in the air in victory and the other hand is ripping the bodice of the dress on some sweet young thing in his arms. Yeah, Jacob looked like that. ….. So anyway, Bella did drool just a little over Jacob, but the bond between her and Edward is much too strong for just any sexy guy to dismantle their coupledom. I haven’t seen the third Twilight movie yet that just came out, but I plan to very soon. Then we’ll discuss.
Let’s move on to the next fascinating couple in the world of young celebrities of today. They are affectionately known as “Speidi” which is a play on words using both their names. We are, of course, talking about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. Speidi (see how cool I am by using the affectionate couple term? You can be cool too now.) so Speidi came into our radar from being on a reality TV show called The Hills. It’s about a group of good looking spoiled rich kids and the shenanigans they get into. Oh see how they frolic on the beach and call each other names and talk about deep issues such as hair and makeup and boys.
Spencer and Heidi seem to have an unusual craving for attention and like little kids, they do everything they can to get it. Spencer, from all indications we can see, seems to be a control freak. And Heidi, poor misguided Heidi, had ten plastic surgeries done to her all in one day, and at the tender age of 20. She was a pretty girl to begin with and still is, but now she’s starting to have that creepy alien look about her that Joan Rivers started out with.
Now the latest scoop about Speidi is that Heidi left Spencer and plans to divorce him. But hold the phone! Some think this whole thing is just another publicity stunt to dredge up more interest and attention for them. Now that you know that important piece of information, just think of the hours of intelligent conversation you can spend with your daughter or granddaughter discussing your opinions about that. See? Are we hip or what?
And last, but certainly not least, let’s get to know Snooki. No, Snooki is not an affectionate couple name. It belongs to just one young lovely Jersey girl. Well young is an accurate adjective. I’m just not quite sure if lovely fits here. It’s kind of a stretch. She’s on another reality show called The Jersey Shore and all the kids are buff, and very very tan even though they’re white kids. Well it’s more of an orange shade really. They are attempting to be Italian kids from New Jersey, but actually they’re all from New York. I guess that would be called creative casting or something.
All you need to know about Snooki is that she has this pouf thing going for her on top of her head, sort of like Amy Winehouse. I guess it’s her signature look. All the girls on The Jersey Shore are tough girls, including Snooki, who was arrested recently for disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance, all while she was cavorting on the beach. So she’s not a sweet young girl. And you don’t want your daughter or granddaughter to emulate her in any way. Just know that much.
So those are a few more of the young celebrities gracing the magazine covers as we’re putting our groceries on the moving belt. And now you can point at one of those magazines and say “Hey look! Speidi was just spotted together in Costa Rica. Aren’t they suppose to be in the middle of splitting up? Could it be that they’re faking the breakup for attention?” Because THAT, my friends, is the latest scoop as of today. Oh, you’re SO current now.