Alcoholic and addictive behavior makes for very poor communication skills. Addict talk in confusing and often counter-productive. Alcoholic behavior doesn’t listen to others. Addicts are self-centered and often unable to maintain relationships.
Alcoholic behavior is counter-productive and antagonistic: Alcoholic behavior bates people into arguments instead of seeking solutions. The alcoholic is continually ‘throwing in his two cents’, despite the fact that what he says has nothing to do with the conversation at hand. And his two cents is typically more like $40, not in the value of the words, but the time it takes to say it. The alcoholic interrupts intelligent conversations and derails them. He must be speaking. He makes frequent references to being ‘misunderstood’ and ‘interrupted by others’ and not being allowed to finish a thought. That fact is that the addict rambles on incoherently, doesn’t stay on topic, changes the subject to suit his whims and really doesn’t make many valid, helpful contributions.
Addictive and alcoholic behavior does not communicate well: Because the addict is self-centered, he believes that everyone hangs on his every word. Because the addicts senses are dulled by drink, anger or a chip on his shoulder, he really has no effective communication skills. He talks but doesn’t listen. When he ‘listens’, he is waiting impatiently to butt in with his own ideas. He says that others’ ‘talk to much’ or that he ‘can’t follow what they are saying’. He is right that he can’t follow what others’ are saying, but it’s because he is not paying attention or actively listening not because the other person is talking too much.
Because he believes that he can read other peoples’ minds, he also assumes that other people know intuitively what he is trying to say. Therefore, he makes no effort to be clear. He is often purposely misleading just to upset and confuse others. He makes oblique references and becomes supercilious when others don’t understand what he says. He fancies himself a ‘plain speaker’ who is ‘blunt’ and ‘honest’ and ‘tells it like it is’. Unfortunately, his words are anything but plain and often passive-aggressive and therefore not honest. As for ‘telling it like it is’, the addict can rarely speak for himself coherently, let alone tell others how it is for them. Furthermore, people normally don’t like being told ‘how it is’. ‘How it is’ for me is rarely anything like ‘how it is’ for you. To have a pompous blowhard shooting his mouth off about ‘how it is’ is frustrating and as counter-productive behavior, will typically be ignored by others. This proves, in the addict’s mind that he is ‘speaking the truth and that others’ simply refuse to listen’. They do refuse to listen, because he has wasted their time and abused their patience.
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