Okay I do not have a I-Phone. That is because I am not quite sure if I-Phone stands for Idiot Phone or Intelligent Phone.
But I will rush out tomorrow and but an I-Phone if they add some apps I can actually use. Currently the I-Phone has an app for finding your way around town. I call that a bit less than underwhelming.
Gee, I would like to pay $100 a month for that app, but wait! I can get a map for FREE.
But here are some apps that I can use. And if they are added to any I-Phone, I will stop my incessant whining and BUY an I-Phone.
So here are the Apps I want to see:
- An App that pays alimony to my ex-wives.
- An App that reminds me that getting married is never a really good idea for me.
- An App that gives me the winning lottery numbers.
- An App that gives me the winning football teams every week and the correct point spread. Look out Vegas, here I come.
- An App that explains women to me. Of course that App would have to be developed by a woman genius.
- An App that delivers free bourbon and pizza to my house when I click on it.
- An App that would let me fly over all traffic jams.
- An App that would not charge me for extra luggage on an airplane.
- An App that would pay my rent.
- An App that would run my bath, iron my clothes, warm up my car, and even put gas in the tank.
- An App that would let me time-travel.
- An App that would make me invisible.
- An App that would explain the meaning of life to me.
- An App that would help the Cubs win a World Series.
- An App that would earn me an M.B.A. and I never have to go to class.
- An App that would explain why I would want an M.B.A. and become a criminal. I think they call them bankers.
- An App that would let me be a major league knuckleball pitcher.
- An App that would let me take pictures like Mike Oberg.
Now would that be so hard to develop these Apps? If we cannot develop these Apps, are we really technically advanced?