I met some girlfriends out last night for dinner in SoHo at this off-the-beaten-path creperie called Palacinka. It was certainly an interesting choice made by true locals which was refreshing. While at dinner, these two beautiful, dynamic women discussed how hard it is to be single in the city.
What is certainly amazing is that both of these woman have it going on — NYC chic, extremely attractive and intelligent former colleagues.
One is completely artistic, perhaps what I would describe as eclectic in all the positive ways, with a wonderful, kind personality. Dark hair, tall, thin, late 30’s. She’s someone you’d certainly think all the east coast men would desire.
The other is your typical American beauty. Originally from the midwest, she lives on the upper west side, just turned 40, and still looks as beautiful today as I’m sure she did in her 20’s.
After dinner, we decided to scurry along to the Thom Bar (see photo below) at SoHo’s 60 Thompson Hotel, which was right around the corner, when I glimpsed at these two friends: they were striking replicas of what you’d envision to be those gorgeous NYC women that everyone talks about ~ dressed to the nines in their designer hats and tres chic trench coats.
I was dumbfounded. Why are these women still single?
I heard their typical dating stories over dinner. One guy who never called again after admitting that “I checked off all my boxes with you.” I guess this meant she met all his criteria; yet, still he disappeared.
The Upper West Side American Beauty talked of online dating and how the only respondents were in their late 40s/early 50s. Apparantly guys her age only respond to girls in their 20s.
The eclectic Italian from DUMBO talked of meeting her man in a wine store (it’s not so bad; he’s the owner). The good news, if you want to call it that, is he’s a blueblood from Italy. The bad news? She’s afraid he’s a pothead.
“Well, who are we to judge? Maybe you can enact positive change,” I say.
In all actuality, should these women settle? Hell no.
And then I had second thoughts.
On the one hand, these two woman are certainly worthy of having it all. But being single can be a tad bit lonely.
Is it “settle”-ing if you gain happiness and companionship and a really good life with a kind loving man who may not be your romantic ideal, at least not at the current moment?
A man who is your steady date for everything from a quiet night out just between the two of you to attending those dreaded corporate events. A man who knows your weaknesses as well as your strengths and accepts you as is. A man who helps lighten your load. Someone special who could certainly become your romantic ideal over time if given the opportunity.
Are we — a.k.a. these older, single, succesful, smart, fun, and for the most part “normal” women — just too damn picky, too damn impatient, and too damn quick to judge…worn down/worn out and just plain jaded? Perhaps so.
Maybe it’s become too easy to dismiss people. Ultimately, being quick to judge may just make us miss out on that oh-so-special diamond in the rough.