There are many reasons why we have the need to control things in life. And, there are different levels of control. It goes from controlling certain things to being the ultimate control freak. Well, I’m not going to tell you how and why you developed the need for control. I’m going to tell you what is going on as a result of your controlling actions. Maybe you see them. Maybe you don’t.
Controlling things. You organize everything around you exactly as only you want it. I know a guy who lived by himself in his house. When you went into the house it reflected him as a person. One day his brother calls and asked him if he could live there awhile until he gets back on his feet. He said yes and his brother moves in. Soon after moving in the brother starts to rearrange furniture and changing the décor of the house. A few months later there wasn’t much in the house to reflect the homeowners personality. Basically, the brother who moved in decorated and arranged everything in the house to his liking. This is a show of control on a timeline. It’s almost as if he is trying to erase any traces of things that give evidence of his brother.
Controlling children. In regards to your children you need to give them boundaries and limits which is a form of control and is necessary. But, what I am talking about is those of you who turn into helicopter parents. Controlling every factor in your child’s life. You need to let your children develop their own interest and personalities. Let them find their own likes and dislikes. They may rebel if you are very controlling of them for a long time.
Controlling adults. Do you control your spouse? Your siblings? Your friends? All of these people may find it nice in the beginning for different reasons. But, after weeks or years of your controlling behavior certain things may or may not happen. Your spouse may leave you for someone less controlling and more relaxed than you. Your siblings may not come over to visit you because of your incessant need to control every family event. Your friends, that depends on your friends significant other. Especially if you keep on making your friend make choices that effect you and your friends significant other.
And the last. Controlling your employees. You control every part of your employees work day. It’s your way or the highway. There are no changes to the decisions that have been made. Yes, you may get your employees to do their work with your controlling behavior. But, you will have an employee who doesn’t respect you and probably gripes about you at every opportunity they get. Loyalty, that’s out of the question. You need not to be a micromanager and let your employees show what good work they can do with their new ideas. Then, you will have happy employees and the respect that you deserve.
Remember, control is needed and good for certain things. Just don’t turn into a freak!