Finding out you are pregnant can be one of the most earth-shattering experiences when you are a teenager. The first thing that comes to mind is, “What am I going to do?” The first thing that you need to do is breathe. Remembering to breathe isn’t going to make the decision easier, but it will help you to make a decision with a clear head.
Just like any other woman that becomes pregnant, you have options. It is important to understand these options. Each one has the potential to affect your life permanently. This article can help you to understand what your options are and the impact that they can have on your life.
The first thing that you need to do is talk to someone that you can trust, preferrably an adult. This is not a decision you should make on your own. Having an adult that has your best interest in mind can help you to make the best decision for you. Try to avoid anyone that will try to influence your decision based upon religous or moral beliefs. Your adult should be understanding to you and your situation.
Your first option is to keep the baby. This option may seem overwhelming. In a way, it is. This is the decision that I made. It is a huge responsibility. For at least the next 18 years, this little person is going to look to you for love, support, basic needs, and financial stability.
One of the biggest things that has broken my heart over the years is seeing moms that have kept their baby, only to find out they weren’t ready to be responsible. These children are left sometimes to fend for themselves. Sometimes they are left in the care of people who are unsafe. This can even result in the death of the child. I don’t believe most of the deaths are intentional on the part of the mother. But, when you aren’t prepared for the large responsibility of caring for a baby and you don’t have the proper support system, it can lead you to a place that rational decisions no longer exist.
If you want to keep your baby, I certainly would not discourage it. However, keep in mind that it is a lot of responsibility. You will make mistakes along the way; a lot of them. But every parent does that! You are also going to need a really good support team. When you feel like you can’t handle a fussy baby, you need someone to call that can be there to help you.
You also need to get prenatal care immediately. Carrying a baby at a young age can come with certain complications and health conditions. You are more prone to a low-birth weight baby as well as preterm labor. Getting quality prenatal care and properly caring for your body during pregnancy can help reduce your risks to many common teenage pregnancy conditions.
I also suggest in taking parenting classes during pregnancy. There are even classes available in some areas for basic baby care. These classes will help you to develop skills that you need to properly care for your baby.
You are also going to have to consider the financial responsibility of caring for a baby. Make a plan as to how you will provide financial support for your child. Don’t be afraid to request child support from the father either. It took two of you to make the baby, not one.
Also, start checking out child care options. Try to find either a family member or quality daycare to care for your baby while you are at work or in school. Avoid having friends care for your baby when you are not around. Even if your friend is good with kids, it is best to leave your baby in the care of an adult that you trust. This protects you as a mother as well as your child.
If the idea of keeping your baby is too overwhelming, you do have other options. Another possiblity is adoption. Adoption has a lot of positives, but there are also negative aspects of adoption. It is not clean cut and pretty all of the time like they want you to believe. There are bad families that make it through the adoption proccess. There are families that agree to open adoptions and then move out of state with the baby without so much as a good-bye or fowarding address.
Although these things do happen with adoption, some of the most beautiful families i know have come together through adoption. Take your time in deciding on a family for your baby. Once again, be sure to have a supportive adult assist you in this. They can help you to make the right decision for your baby.
An adoption can give you peace of mind if you know that you cannot care for your baby but feel that abortion is not an option. However, an adoption can leave you with a feeling of loss as well. This isn’t the case in every teenage mom that adopts their baby out, but it is rather common. Having a baby will awaken maternal instincts, even if you don’t keep the baby. This is something that you need to keep in mind.
If you are planning on an adoption, you should also get prenatal care immediately. Even though you are not keeping your baby, it is important for both of you that you take care of your body during pregnancy.
If neither one of these options seem plausable to you, there is one more option. This option is a very controversial option, indeed. Even though I kept my son, I understand that there are situations in which an abortion is the only answer for you. This is not a decision that I would ever make for myself. However, the point is not the decision I would make for me. The point is the decision that you need to make for you.
No matter how many people try to tell you that it is wrong for you to have an abortion, they are not you. It is not their body and it is not their baby. Their lives are not the ones that will be affected by your choice. Yours is. Avoid listening to the moral and religous fanatics about all of the misconceptions about abortions.
Despite what many people may think, getting an abortion is never encouraged. In fact, getting an abortion is not an easy proccess. You will have to go through a psychological evaluation to determine your ability to make a sound decision. They are going to throw options and pamphlets at you to try to educate you about your other options. Then, once they have determined and you have decided that abortion is the only option for your life, right now, the abortion can be done.
Keep in mind, abortion does have some psychological side effects for some women. But, these same women were also more likely to develop postpartum depression. Also keep in mind that you may face people who call you names or say horrible things to you. As hard as it may be, try to ignore them. I know it sounds crazy, but they mean well. They want you to make the best decision. However, they are basing your best decision on what they think is morally or religously right.
Ultimately, only you can make the best decision for you and your baby at this time. You have the final say since this is your body and your baby. Outside of abortion, you always have the ability to change your mind right up to the moment that your baby is born.