Aunt Omega just had one daughter, and she thought the sun rose and set in her. Not that my cousin, Lynette, could tell you that. Aunt Omega was not big on dishing out the compliments to Lynette’s face, but to the rest of us, Lynette was perfect.
Whatever Lynette did, Aunt Omega tried to copy it. She thought Lynette was a combination of Martha Stewart, Emily Post, Gloria Vanderbilt and Eleanor Roosevelt.
Lynette moved around quite a bit, and bought several homes, and Aunt Omega would always visit her a couple of times a year wherever she lived. Each time when Aunt Omega came home, there would always be some subtle and some not-so subtle changes around her house trying to mimic her wonderful, brilliant daughter.
Like the time when Lynette’s children were small and she traded in her car for a minivan. Next thing you know, Aunt Omega had a minivan, too. Then when Lynette’s kids were older with cars of their own, Lynette swapped the minivan for an SUV. Aunt Omega decided she must have an SUV, also. Did I mention Aunt Omega didn’t drive? She just kept a vehicle parked in her driveway and she would get me or sometimes her friends to take her wherever she needed to go. But go in style, she would!
On one of her trips to Lynette’s, she was taking a tour of the new house. Lynette had a beautifully decorated guest bedroom, and on the bed with its designer pillows, sat a gorgeous hand-carved mahogany tray with a china cup and saucer, a dainty linen napkin, and a pewter bud vase with a baby yellow rose in it.
“What’s that for?” Aunt Omega, scratched her head trying to remember if she had seen anything like this in the last Southern Living she’d looked at.
“It’s just for decoration,” Lynette explained. “No one really uses this room so I just keep this sitting here to look pretty.”
“Oh, cool,” the wheels were spinning. “What a good idea and it did look pretty!”
Aunt Omega and I lived in the same little hometown where both of us were born and raised, and she was like a second Mother to me. I looked in on her fairly often since Lynette lived on the other side of the country. One day after Aunt Omega returned home after her visit, she and I were having lunch at her house.
She made the best bologna and cheese sandwiches. I don’t know how you can do much to change the taste of bolonga and cheese, but she did it. They were absolutley delicious. After lunch, she told me she had some Girl Scout cookies tucked away in her spare bedroom if I wanted to open a box.
Both of us being the sweet lovers we were, I promptly headed to the “back bedroom” and what I saw there took me aback. I didn’t say anything. I wouldn’t have hurt her feelings for the world, but I just could not help wondering about her bizarre bedroom additions.
That night, I decided to call Lynette and tell her about visiting Aunt Omega and giving her Auntie’s bathroom report which was always the focal point of her day. (Auntie’s, not Lynette’s) “Didn’t go at all today or yesterday, but she’s cooking greens so she thinks things will work themselves out by tomorrow.”
Then, I decided I had to tell Lynn what I had seen in the back bedroom to see if she could help me figure it out. I broached the subject slowly, making her a little jealous of the coveted bologna and cheese sandwich. Heh. Heh. Then onto the part of going in the back bedroom to get into the precious hoard of Girl Scout cookies.
“Yes, Aunt O had the ironing board set up in there as usual, and, yes, I made sure the extension cord was fixed so that she wouldn’t trip over it, and yes, she did have the bed made, but there was something unusual in there, too.”
“Well, what was it?” Lynette was curious to know what I was getting at.
“Well, right there in the center of the bed was a tray with a gravy boat and ladle and dish towel on it. Do you have any idea what would make her put those things on a bed?”
Needless to say, we hung the phone up laughing hysterically. Aunt Omega had done it again!
Stay tuned. In addition to my regular articles, I will be writing a whole series about Aunt Omega! Later, friends.