The situation is you are good friends with a couple who are dating. But one day while out with one of them, you witness your friend flirting with some girl and after a few drinks, you see them kissing. At the end of the night, your friend goes home with the girl and you end up wishing that you never saw your friend cheating. So what you do you do? Do you tell your friend’s girlfriend about what you saw? Or do you mind your own business? Let’s explore possible scenarios about what you should do if you witness your friend cheating.
Keep Quiet! It is None of Your Business
So you saw your friend cheating and you happen to be friends their partner. So should you tell your friend that their partner cheated? Probably not, sometimes, things are better left unsaid. Plus, if you do tell your friend about their partner’s cheating ways there is a chance that your friend may not believe you and even accuse you of lying. So if you do not like drama, just keep your mouth shut and do not get involved in your friend’s dirty laundry.
Talk to Your Cheating Friend and Make a Truce
Some people would talk to their cheating friend first and let them know about you saw. If you feel bad about being a witness to their cheating, maybe just letting them know that you feel guilty and want to put this behind you might be all you need to put this issue to rest. Maybe your friend will also feel relieved to talk about their affair and apologize to you for putting you in an awkward position. But you need to make sure that you make yourself clear to your friend that you do not want to get involved with their infidelities. If they ever decide to cheat again, make it like a warning that if you do witness them philandering again, you will tell their partner about it.
Tell, Tell, Tell!
If you do decide to tell your friend’s partner about your friends cheating ways, be prepared to be the monkey in the middle who is going to cause some unpleasant drama. Your plan could also backfire as you might be called a liar because your friend’s partner will be shocked and angry to hear such awful news. If you do not have any proof (pictures or names of your friend’s flings) then you could be accused of making the whole thing up.
For instance, one of my girlfriends cheated on her boyfriend (who also was my best friend at that time). I saw her cheat on him with random guys at parties, as she would get drunk, flirt with a guy, and fool around with them. I decided not to tell my best friend because I did not want to get involved, and she even told me that it would never happen again and asked me to promise her that I would not tell my best friend. I agreed not to tell my best friend, because I knew he would be crushed. So months went by, they started having problems, and she started cheating on him again with random guys and other friends witnessed it. These other friends told my best friend and he got so upset, confronted her and she obviously denied it. He broke up with her and he told me what happened. I then confessed about what I saw and he got mad at me for me not telling him right away. I told him that she swore it would never happen again and I promised to keep her secret. He was upset with me and accused me of taking sides.
A couple of days later she admitted to it and apologized, he forgave her and I ended up being “the bad guy” and our friendship ended. They ended up dating for a couple of months and, finally, they broke up after she cheated on him again. This time I had nothing to do with it, he found out on his own.
So if you decide to be the messenger to your friend about their cheating partner, make sure to be prepared to say, “Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m only delivering the message.” It is hard to come up with general advice, but the main factors which should influence your decision are how close you are with each of them, how long they have been together, and how strong their relationship is. After taking all this into consideration, do not rush with your decision, because a day or two won’t make a difference in the situation.