In case you care the first week of October is – hang on while I find my reading glasses – dang how could I lose five reading glasses in one week. I buy them at the Dollar Store and on Monday, place them all around the house. All I have to do then is pick up a pair so I can read something deep and significant like the Sunday Comics. But by Friday I have lost every pair of glasses, so it looks like I will have to waste my Saturday morning going to the Dollar Store to buy some more glasses. If I had a life, that might upset me, but I actually look forward to going to the Dollar Store.
That means I must make a note to myself – Get a Life. Well actually, I would wrote myself a note, but I need to find a pencil first and then some paper, which I can never find which is why when I do find a pen, I just write the note on my hand. It is my own personal Palm Pilot. Writing reminders on my hand actually works until I forget and wash my hands and then I have no idea what that faded, faint ink says.
Anyway the first week of October is – hang on, I am almost finished making my Bloody Mary. The ideal Bloody Mary is – hang on, I knew I had that recipe here somewhere. Oh never mind. Now where did I put that glass? Then I have to find the Tomato juice – on second thought, forget the Bloody Mary, I know I have the ingrediants around the house -I just have to remember where they are.
Hang on again – this is Monday night right. Well, heck that means Monday Night Football is on, Thanks for your patience, I just have to find the remote. Shouldn’t be too hard as my apartment is so small that I have to go outside just to change my mind. My apartment is so small that even the mice have to crawl on their bellies. Anyway, if my apartment is so small,why can’t I find the remote?
Anyway, I thought you would like to know that the first week of October – whoops is that my cell phone. Okay where did I put that cell phone. Don’t you hate it. You finally think you have located where the ringing is coming from and the the ringing stops and you know you are somewhere near your cell phone, but you still can’t find it. You know I will call my cell phone and then I will find it, but I can’t call my cell phone as I need it to call myself. The perfect Catch 22 for the 21st Century.
Okay – my big news is that the first week in October is National Get Organized Week, which is rather silly as I am already organized. Dang – where is that remote. I know I put the cell phone somewhere. I think I will write a note on my hand, but where is that pen?