I am going to write a piece that will probably touch some nerves but I am to the point I do not care. I am to the point where it should be shared. I just find it difficult how people find it easy to be so cruel but that just seems to be human nature. Possibly habit after awhile.
My daughter has been married to the father of her children for the past three years. They lived together for about 7 years before that. The relationship has always been a rough road. Many often wondered why they went as far as getting married.
He’s always totally controlled her in many ways. Financially and confidence. Call it mental abuse. He’s never laid a hand on her.
Years ago my daughter went to school after high school and became a medical assistant. She had done well but was not happy when she realized her pay did not even come close to an LPN when she did as much work. She’d complain and think about furthering her education but never following through. She’d always wanted to learn ultrasound.
One day a friend wanting the same talked her into going to a local college to check out what all was involved for the Associates Degree for Ultrasound. It would take three years and of course a lot of loans. The friend and I talked and coaxed my daughter. She went through all the paperwork but was not getting support from her then boyfriend.
I want to make clear that after she became a Medical Assistant she had a baby and bought a house all on her own. The house was mine and I sold it to her for half the price. The boyfriend did not want her to buy the house and she has heard about it since then. In the meantime, they both have put a lot of work into the house and really upgraded the home. Before she had bought it I put a new roof, a new furnace, a deck and a new front porch on the house so she got a decent deal.
When the idea of college came close to a final decision my daughter called me and told me she was not going to go. She was not getting the support she needed at home. I told her the only one that could stop her was her and if she made that decision I did not want to hear her complain when she realized it was the wrong one.
Three years later she graduated with honors and now has a wonderful job. She still gets the mental abuse but he sure doesn’t mine the money she makes. He doesn’t do too bad himslef but she makes more. They are living well.
I will say this man is a good provider, he does a lot with the children but they hear the mental abuse that goes on in the home. He’s done a lot of work to improve the home. He finally did support her through school against his wishes.
Now he checks all her receipts and makes her account for every penny spent although he will go out and buy a hundred dollar pair of hunting boots and think nothing of it. She can not discuss anything with him. It just turns into a screaming match. The whole situation is sad.
Recently, she had decided she wanted a new car. Her 2002 was acting up. He swore there was nothing wrong with it but one day when I arrived there was a stream of fluid running out from under it. Turned out to be antifreeze. They fixed that but the car kept stalling on her. She really just wanted a newer car but if she would even try to discuss it he would tell her no.
One day she was asking me about it. I told her she was a grown woman and could make decisions for herself. She made good money and all their debts were paid except for her house payment.. After trying to discuss it with him once much with no luck but a threat that he would leave, she went and bought a 2008 all wheel drive Ford. A more convenient car for this area in the winter. He then left for two nights.
Again, my point to my story……….. He tried to argue and she would not argue back. She just ignored him. She’d call me and talk just to tune him out.
Now I am not allowed to have the boys anymore because I am bipolar. Although, I’ve had the boys at my home alone since I was in the hospital I am not allowed to have them here for there own safety.
Now talk about childishness. How far can it go?
Maybe a few months ago that would have bothered me but now I consider the source. My grandsons keep asking when they can come up because we have our camp-outs on the livingroom floor. Our movie night where we go pick a movie for a dollar and make popcorn and hot chocolate.
So, I guess I will have to pack my sleeping bags, my movie, popcorn and hot chocolate and head down to their house. If I can not have my grandsons over anymore, my son-in-law will be blessed with my company from now on. He tends to be nice to my face.
Just don’t use my disease as a fault.