This book, So You Want to Marry My Daughter? was written by Dr. Paul A. Friesen. It was a good book with a lot of good, useful information that I believe I could use one day. I think it is a must read for any guy that is planning to get married, anytime. Not only does it give you answers that dads usually want to hear, it makes you think about what answers you would have.
The first question is definitely a great one to start off with “Why do you want to marry my daughter?” ooh that could create a Kodak moment on the young man’s face. But other than that funny picture that may pop up in your head right about now, it gives you a list of answers that are not things that you want to hear, such as: “Because she is hot” or “My parole officer said it would be good for me to marry”. There is an ongoing joke in the book about “My parole officer said…” just to add a little bit of extra humor into it. But it also gives answers that should be given, such as: “Your daughter is amazing” or “She is incredibly special, and I want to serve her and care for her for the rest of her life”. Not too many guys would be prepared to answer that first question unless they had already given having this conversation previous thought, which most guys probably would but some may not have. And for each of these 10 questions, it gives answers that you do and don’t want to hear. And then it gives you an overview of the general idea or concept behind his answers. And for each question, it has a little comic on the next page, which I thought was very creative.
Another question that stood out to me was the third one, which states “What are your passions in life and (here’s the best part) how do you plan to encourage those of my daughter?” that one could hit it hard with some guys. I bet most guys WOULD NOT be prepared for that question. A lot of guys would probably start off their answer with a big long “Uhhhhh…”. And the book then tells you a few answers you don’t want to hear and some that you dont want to. And then it gives you an overview of the critical concepts that you want to hear in his answer for this question.
The Fourth question also stood out to me. It states “What does scripture mean when it says, ‘the husband is the head of the wife’?”. The first pillar in The Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart kind of coincides with this in that the first pillar is the king pillar. And it says that being the king isn’t all about having power, but instead it is mainly about having responsibility and caring for the people who are in your care. And it means that the husband is to be self-sacrificial. Anyways, some of the answers that it gives that should not be given are things like: “Dude, it’s like, I’m like, the boss.” or “It means the little lady does what I say.”. And answers that are acceptable are things like: “It means I am responsible to God for my family’s well-being.” or “It means that true love is seen in service.”. And then it tells the critical conepts that you want to hear, basically just that it doesn’t mean that he’s the boss and everyone does what he says, but rather that it means that he is a servant. And the comic that was assigned for this section is hilarious. The fifth question was a lot like the fourth, so I won’t really get into that one.
The Sixth question is a real eye opener for some guys. The Sixth question states “How do you plan to provide to for my daughter financially?”. This one isn’t too hard to answer if the guys has a good career going for him or if he graduated college or is in his last portion of college and is already looking for somewhere to work where he could use his new degree. But for a guy who makes minimum wage, or isn’t currently employed, this question might be a little harder to answer. I don’t feel it necessary to tell you answers that it gave for this question, since it is kind of self explanatory what you do and don’t want to hear.
The Seventh question might be hard for non-Christians and even some Christians, but I think that most Christians who follow the teachings of the Bible won’t find it too hard to answer. The question states “How are you honoring my daughter sexually, and how do you plan to honor her after marriage?”. Which, my pre-question explanation should have expanded enough on this question. The eighth question kind of is stated like the third one, so I won’t take the time (or the room on the page) to explain more about it.
The Ninth question should be pretty easy for most Christians to answer. It states “What are the absolutes that drive your decisions?” most Christians should be able to easily and truthfully answer that God’s Word does, or something along that line.
The Tenth question is the last of these 10. It is a heavy question and can really get the tumblers turning. It states “What if marriage doesn’t turn out to be what you imagined?”. A lot of guys would take this question as a heavy blow to the chest. This is a hard question and after reading it, I thought “Wow, that is a very good question and I need to think about this one”. Before I continued on to read the answers that you do and don’t want to hear, I decided to think about it and come up with some answers of my own. And luckily for me, they lined up with the answers that you do want to hear…