I always thought FWBs was something men made up. I thought that only men can come up with having sex with someone with no strings attached, and actually view that as some kind of benefit for the both of them. I always thought, “Where does the woman benefit in all of this?”
But these men are obviously having sex with women that think that there is a benefit to it also. As a matter of fact, women are much more comfortable with that than they’ve ever been (Check out my article: Femi-Nazi 4 : The Evolution of Women & Casual Sex ). So is it working for them?
A lot of people believe that women can’t possibly handle such a thing because we’re just too emotional–but I disagree. I believe that there are women who are strong enough to handle it. Not every woman wants to be in a relationship. Some women actually have other things they care about, and having a relationship at that time may be least important. They probably rather have a “friend” than be committed-and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I think people spend too much time trying to make women feel guilty about not wanting the picture perfect “American Dream” lifestyle. Some women have a different idea of what picture perfect is. Not everyone is old fashioned. But on the flip side, maybe the old fashioned way is the right way.
I just wonder how many FWB relationships last. Think about it. Are the two FWBs really friends? Or are they just two people that sleep with each other? I think we need to not use the word “friend” if there really isn’t a friendship there. I think that misguides women into thinking that there is going to be a meaningful relationship there. Women like the idea that the two of them will be friends–but no one tells us that there really isn’t a friendship. It’s just two people that get together and bang each other time to time.
I’ve heard of some FWB relationships that worked, but all of them are committed FWB relationships. What I mean is, they are only screwing each other. They have no one on the side, and to me, that’s almost like a real relationship! The two of you may have never agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but if the two of you are only having sex with each other, then that’s still a type of commitment. I want to see how many people would like the FWB idea if their partner was messing around with other people. I don’t think they would like that very much.
And what happens when one person is tired of sleeping with the other? Will they remain friends? I doubt it. They won’t remain friends because it’s not a real friendship to begin with. That’s just something men call it to make women interested in it. The term “friends with benefits” implies that somehow a typical friendship doesn’t already have benefits, and the only true benefit to a friendship is sex. Shame on men!
But seriously, FWBs isn’t really a no strings attached situation. There are rules to that arrangement. Maybe the rules are unspoken, but they’re still rules. A woman may require the man to only sleep with her, maybe take her out, or maybe to spend a certain amount of time with her. All those things are “strings” in my opinion. If the man wouldn’t do that, then he wouldn’t get laid. The woman still requires the man to do the same things that she would require any other man who wants to date her to do.
FWBs is a way for a man and a woman to get the perks of a relationship without being “tied down” by a verbal agreement to be together. I don’t have a problem with the arrangement, I just want women to know that once the “benefits” are over–the friendship will be too.
Other Associated Content articles you may be interested in:
Love Thy Self: An Article for Women: Love Thy Sexuality
Love Thy Self: An Article for Teenage Girls: Love Thy Sexuality