Does choosing a mentor seem overwhelming? Perhaps you have decided you would like to have someone walk with you in your eating disorder recovery, but you don’t know where to start when it comes to finding that person. There are some important things to consider when choosing a mentor, such as this person’s experience and personality.
1. What type of experience is important to you to have in a mentor? Do you prefer someone who has mentoring experience? Maybe that doesn’t matter to you, but you just want to connect with someone who can relate to what you’re facing, someone who has been through eating disorder recovery.
2. Are you comfortable choosing a mentor who has not recovered from an eating disorder, but has other experiences and expertise? Maybe someone who is a strong encourager and who is a more mature believer will be a good fit for you. You may prefer someone who can dig into God’s Word with you and remind you of His truth.
3. Consider the personality type of the person you are looking for in a mentor. Should it be someone who is very direct or someone more subtle? Should your mentor be a lot like you or very different from you? Will this person pat you on the back no matter what or will he or she be willing to speak up and help you keep on track if you wander? Maybe you need someone you can relate to on a deeper level. Perhaps you need someone who can help you balance certain traits about yourself by being different from you.
4. How does your mentor fit with regard to those in your treatment team? For example, maybe certain traits in a mentor are not as important to you because you have those traits in your counselor or dietitian. Perhaps you think choosing a mentor who offers something different will be best for you. On the other hand, it might be important to you to have someone much like the others who are helping you.
5. On the matter of paying for mentoring services, here are some questions to ask yourself. Do you place greater value on something that you pay for? Do you think you would be more likely to follow through with a mentor if you have paid for that person’s services than if you have not? Do you find it difficult to receive help from someone if you do not have a way to pay them back in some way? Of course, it would be great if you were able to receive any and all free help available, but sometimes it takes time to get to that point. We sometimes don’t feel deserving even though there is no reason we shouldn’t get the same help as others.
Ask God to help you choose the mentor that is right for you. He knows your specific needs, and he also knows what your potential mentors have to offer. If you are meant to have a mentor, He can help you make the right choice.