First, you must determine that your anger is a problem or else you cannot do anything to solve it. Ask yourself how frequently you get angry, and whether you overreact, or whether your anger is in proportion with the situation at hand. Do you find yourself pouting or holding grudges? Does your anger scare others or yourself and does it have a negative impact on your lifestyle. Do you feel yourself beginning to lose it and then do you feel as though there is no control to it?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then you certainly have problems with anger and you must understand that there are terrible consequences to this kind of anger. You might destroy many important relationships in your life, you might create a dangerous or hostile living environment, you will not be as productive at home or work, you might endure health problems and excess stress, you might get into trouble with the law, and you might even be tempted to engage in some violent behaviors.
Everyone gets angry, that is a fact of life. But some people do not have as good control over it as others. You have to understand what triggers your anger, which people, situations or events make you furious and livid? You need to understand that you have triggers and then you must Observe, Analyze, and Change.
As you begin to observe, this is the first step in determining the roots of your anger. You must take notice of what situations and incidents cause you to lose all control. What actions are you doing when your anger begins? What are the people around you doing and what kind of environment are you in. When you get angry, how high is your stress level, and did you sleep well the night before. You need to be able to distinguish certain features that might provide some insight into a pattern of anger that you might fall into once in a while. Once you determine your pattern, you are now aware and you can stop yourself when you find yourself falling into your pattern. When some component of your pattern occurs, quickly remind yourself not to fall prey to it.
Next, analyze exactly what is triggering your anger. Anger is not always irrational, because sometimes there is a very good reason, but more often than not people’s emotions get so wildly out of control, they don’t stop to decipher the actual problem. Stop and think, what is making you so angry? Is it a foul mood that is transferring to anger? Is it hurt? Or helplessness? What is happening around you that is causing you to get angry and that is the best way you can deal with it. You have to understand what mood you are in and to see what the actual sane and rational reason is that is causing you to react.
Finally, you need to figure out how to change these patterns and reactions. If you see yourself about to get angry, take a deep cleansing breath three times. If a person is your trigger and you feel yourself about to explode, calmly tell that person to leave or excuse yourself so that you do not lose your control or cool. You have to take these steps and at first it will feel like you are repressing yourself, but actually you are simply changing your pattern of response. How you choose to respond is up to you, and choosing a healthy way will keep you healthier and happier.