Even if we consider ourselves laid-back most of the time, there are occasions when we need cool down our anger. You may want to save the following cool-down wisdom words for times that your frustration begins to broil.
Leave Without Regrets
Wisdom Words: Before you say or do something that will terminate a relationship leave the scene of the argument.
Don’t slam out the door, just say, “Will you excuse me?”
Leaving an explosive situation allows your physical body time to calm down and your anger to cool down. Detaching from the event lessens the probability of saying harsh words you will regret.
Otherwise, you may end up resenting the other person and carry a grudge. If this happens, try not to carry the grudge to your grave. Try to see your part in the argument, swallow your pride and apologize when appropriate.
Divert Negative Emotions
Get your body moving! Physical exercise will divert those nasty, negative emotions by releasing “feel-good” endorphins.
Power walk, do a few Tai-Chi forms, twist your body like a Pretzel into your favorite Yoga positions or jump a rope. Your busy brain and tightened muscles will thank you.
Wisdom Words: You can’t see the event clearly when negative emotions blind you to the truth.
Don’t Ruminate – Vent About it
Rather than ruminating, call a caring friend and vent about it. Often, she can sort out the situation and offer alternate solutions. Just telling him what happened and how you feel helps cool down angry emotions.
Wisdom Words: Habitual venting will not solve the core issue of your present conflict. (Especially when old wounds reopen.)
Writing out the event in your personal journal will often help you see the experience in a different light.
Focused Anger vs Rage Running Rampant
Wisdom Words: The person you’re raging at will respond to your rage, not the immediate problem.
The next time you get all riled up, inwardly admit your anger and focus on peaceful options that end in a better resolution.
A peaceful option is often found by identifying the source of your anger and reviewing your personal boundaries or setting new boundaries.
Cooling-Down Anger when your Frustration is on Broil
We are all human. Even calm people get frustrated. Focusing anger forces us to take action. If someone is overly demanding or triggers old behavior patterns, we can enforce our personal boundaries or set new ones.
Anger does not have to be a bad thing, as long as we don’t give in to it. Keep in mind that anger is personal. When we get angry, we are making a judgment that the other person is at fault. Sometimes, the other person did nothing wrong, except push past buttons.
Anger is justified, when we are in danger. Nevertheless, we must seek ways to cool down, rather than subjecting ourselves to stress related illnesses. Admitting anger, analyzing it objectively to understand what triggered the frustration is the first step toward releasing and letting go of negative emotions.
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Source: Notes from anger work in my ACOA journal