Welcome back dance lovers to the latest episode of spray tans, sparkly outfits and snarky judges. This week the dances were the jive and quickstep. Special appearances were made by Sarah Palin and The old new Bachelor Brad Womack. Yes single ladies you now have the opportunity to date Brad Womack – again.
Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke:
The Fox had to dance the jive to “Tush” by ZZ Top… obviously the producers are just bringing it out there to let the world know what they think is his best – ahem – asset. Judge Bruno called it a “California condor dancing with a hummingbird.”
Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas:
Spunky Flo danced the quickstep to “Suddenly I see” by KT Tunstall. She proved that this 76-year-old can dance, even if it does tire her out a bit. Bruno summed it up by saying it was something between a mix of “Driving Miss Daisy” and lovely.
Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy:
They danced the jive to “Magic” by Pilot. She looked a bit mean stiff and the judges said she did better last week. And then she had the nerve to point and blame Maks for the “awful solo.” Poor Maks he’s not doing too well with this partner even if it seemed like a good pairing.
Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower:
The Bolt “danced” the jive to “Hound Dog” by Elvis. Len Goodman called it an interpretation of a jive. Bruno said it was the worst jive ever. Carrie Ann called it awkward. We just say why wasn’t he gone last week? The Hoff would’ve at least been more entertaining.
Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani:
They danced the quickstep to “Love Machine” by The Miracles. Bruno compared her to a show pony like Secretariat. Len said it was the best performance so far. Tony said that if they didn’t get three 8s he would wax his legs. Well Bruno only gave them a 7 so get that hot wax ready.
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough:
Did the jive to “Shake It” by Metro Station. It was good but if this season is going to be another like last when it was obvious who was going to win then it’s snore. Carrie Ann called Jen a “bionic bunny.” It would’ve been more impressive if Derek had Margaret Cho and got her to dance that well.
Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel:
Was less of a Cho-saster than last week doing this week’s jive in a colorful zebra-print and pink fluff. They looked good but that was because only because of how bad they did last week.
Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer:
Even though he wanted hamburgers(!) they managed to do the quickstep very well. Except the judges thought they got confused and thought they were doing the jive instead.
Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya:
Did the jive in a military theme to “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins. Anna looked cute in her 50s style military romper. Kurt looked stiff in places but he sang along and had fun. Carrie Ann described him as the drunk goofy Uncle who busts out dance moves at a party.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Karina Smirnoff:
They did the quickstep even though Sitch didn’t like the music (Brian Setzer Orchestra). He did OK and the judges could tell he was a fighter even though he’s pigeon-toed.
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas:
After a quick trip to Alaska where Mark looked out over the lake and saw Russia a calving glacier and met Mama Palin, they whizzed back to the dance floor for the quickstep to “You Can’t Hurry Love.” Carrie Ann compared her to Kelly Osbourne – umm is that a compliment? But Len told her she needed more flare
Dancing with the Stars: the Results is Tuesday at 9 pm on ABC.
Guest performances will be Seal and Janelle Monae