Welcome back dance lovers to the latest episode of spray tans, sparkly outfits and snarky judges. Last week Florence Henderson was voted off. This week the couples danced the paso doble or tango to a rock and roll theme. There would also be a dance off “4 minute marathon.” The dance floor was transformed into a heavy metal concert hall Glitterdome.
First off fans voted for the top ten dances of all time and these were revealed:
10) Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas: Freestyle
9) Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson: Tango
8) Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough: Quick Step
7) Apolo Ohno and Julianne Hough: Freestyle
6) Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough: Paso Doble
5) Mel B and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Paso Doble
4) Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough: Paso Doble
3) Apolo Ohno and Julianne Hough: Samba
2) Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke: Tango
1) Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke: Freestyle
Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani:
Their dance was paso doble to Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust,” a classic that used to be played in rollerskating rinks around the world. Aud looked great with her bust-enhancing outfit but her expression was a bit wooden. Remember she said that being expressive causes wrinkles… horror! The judges agreed that she was almost there but needed to let loose and give it her all. Was it just me or does Aud need to get the phone number of Brooke Burke’s celebrity plastic surgeon ex-husband for a boob re-do?
Marathon Dance Score: 8
Total Score: 32
Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer:
They danced the tango to Adam Lambert’s “If I Had You.” They had to up their game because of last week’s judge-panned nostalgia number. The judges were nicer this week. Len called it an “improvement.” Carrie Ann liked the “Kyle-style.” Bruno said it was “much, much better.”
Marathon Dance Score: 7
Total Score: 30
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough:
Did the paso doble to “So What” by Pink. Not one of their better numbers though. Maybe Jen-Hough-er got confused because they had to learn this dance and the dances for the Marathon. This time she was a bit too passionate. Carrie Ann said she needed to “calm down.” Bruno said she was like a “woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown.” Jen-Hough-er even admitted that the dance was a bit too much.
Marathon Dance Score: 9
Total Score: 29
Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke:
Their dance was the tango to The Kinks’ “You Really Got Me. Len loved Rick’s posture. Bruno compared him to a “Mohican on a war path.” Carrie Ann said he needed to not be so stern (ie. show his concentration on his forehead) because he lost himself.
Marathon Dance Score: 6
Total Score: 30
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas:
They danced the tango to Orianthi’s “According to You” in matching sparkly military jackets. To remind everyone of the rock theme they busted out into air guitar. This sort of messed up the routine but it looked fun. Bruno loved it and claimed it was the best performance and technique (until Brandy and Maks’ that is). Carrie Ann called it “ridiculously amazing.” Len criticized their breaking the dance with the air guitar but said: “Last week a chimp, this week almost a champ.”
Marathon Dance Score: 5
Total Score: 28
Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya:
Did the paso doble with help from rocker Bret Michaels. This guy has managed to show up on so many reality shows he deserves an award for that. It would have been cooler to see Bret dance since he has a better personality than Kurt but Bret was only an adviser. Sigh. Anyway Kurt and Anna danced to Europe’s “The Final Countdown.” Another 80s flashback obviously because that was the last time anyone really rocked. The judges didn’t like the dance. Bruno said some mumbo-jumbo about karate and Jackie Chan but wanting Banderas. Carrie Ann said it was “scruffy.” Len pointedly said: “It just didn’t come off.” Boo!
Marathon Dance Score: 4
Total Score: 22
Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy:
They danced the tango to 80s classic “Holding Out For a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler. The most surprising thing about this dance wasn’t their futuristic-looking outfits. Maybe they borrowed them from The Sitch and Karina a few episodes ago. But the most surprising thing was when Len said: “You’re my hero… Maks.” Obviously that was a bit of a diss to Miss B but no one seemed to get it. Maybe he was speculating on Maks’ tight tight asset highlighting pants. Anyway Bruno compared Brandy to Tina Turner in “Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.” And Carrie Ann said it gave her goosebumps.
Marathon Dance Score: 10
Total Score: 36
During the “4 minute marathon” the couples all competed on the dance floor doing swing dancing moves. They were eliminated one by one and extra points were awarded according to when they were eliminated. Kurt and Ann were eliminated first but they got 4 points. Then Bristol and Mark, and Rick and Cheryl were out. Then Kyle and Lacey, and Audrina and Tony were eliminated. Then finally it was a showdown between Jen-Hough-er and Brandy and Maks. Brandy and Maks won and got the coveted extra 10 points.
The Results show is Tuesday 9 pm on ABC.
More DWTS 11:
For a recap of Week 5 click here
For a recap of Week 4 elimination click here
For a recap of Week 4 click here
For a recap of Week 3 elimination click here
For a recap of Week 3 click here