Marriages sometimes come to a screeching halt without any apparent reason, and what you sometimes have left is a huge mess of arguments, resentment and child custody issues. If you simply keep telling yourself that there is nothing you can do to make this person happy any longer, you’re half way to recovery and being able to move on with your life.
Moving past divorce is a lot easier to cope with when there are no children involved but when there are, take a step back and deal with each day as they come because ex-wives can make your life miserable! Not all, but I have yet to meet the Bruce Willis, Demi Moore type.
A second marriage, even a third can be a happy time in one’s life again. Your own happiness doesn’t have to end just because your previous marriage did but there can be one small caveat, ex-wives never go away, in fact their presence seems to be felt, heard, and seen more when you remarry than ever before. Why is this? The ex-wife left for a reason, right? You will soon learn that many times ex-wives get jealous and will do just about anything they can to purposely sabotage a new marriage. For example, They can turn their children against their father by telling them malicious lies, they can intentionally keep the child from their rightful father as a ploy to try to obtain an increase in child support, they can even move quite a distance away from the father to make it difficult for visitation. Ex-wives can have many tactics up their sleeves and it’s up to you to protect yourself in these types of situations.
And then, there are the phone calls. “We need to talk!” Those four little words can send chills down anyone’s spine. What are you to do; except listen when you have children involved.
Consider These Few Steps to Finding Internal Peace
1) Always be the bigger person. There is nothing you will be able to do to control the rage of an ex-wife. Her anger stems from within. Try to genuinely listen to the ex-wife’s requests, keep a low tone to your voice when responding. Yelling never solves anything; in fact, once you start yelling nobody hears anything! If the request is acceptable or not, document it.
2) Get a calendar. Write everything down; phone calls, your days to have the kids, changes in visitation requests etc. This is very important. If you don’t, you’ll wish you had later on. Some people keep meticulous notes on this sort of thing because many times you end up back in court and you want to have your basis covered.
3) Pay your child support and if you have spousal support payments, pay that too. There is nothing more to say on this matter because if you don’t make your scheduled payments, you can have your wages garnished, DMV problems, and possibly wind up in jail.
4) Lastly, enjoy your quality time with your children. IN spite of all the ex-wife drama, you love your kids. They will only be young for a short time and then friends, sports and going out become more important than mommy and daddy. Take each day at a time and hopefully, you find some solace in all of the everyday chaos.