“Dexter” Season 5 Episode 1 “My Bad” begins the very second that the last episode of Season 4 ended, with Dexter finding Rita, the one woman who had reached that shriveled core of humanity within him, bled out in the tub.
One last gift from Trinity, aka Arthur Mitchell. It would be enough to drive any normal man into madness. But Dexter is already insane, so what happens now? Spoilers surely follow.
What happens is that whatever sliver of emotion that had been growing within Dexter pops like a soap bubble and then there is nothing, or at least so little that there is, for all practical purpose, nothing. Dexter’s sister Debra and all of his friends at the police ascribe this to shock, which is fortunate for Dexter. (And by the way, Debra arriving on the scene, cussing a blue streak as ever, was so welcome.) If Dexter is dead inside, she is all life, with passion and in this case rage and sorrow for two people at least.
In the midst of it all, Dexter flashes back to his first blind date with Rita. In the typical Dexter fashion, it was interrupted when he had to go about his special work.
Slowly but surely, as the episode proceeds, Dexter begins to feel something, perhaps something that he had hitherto been unfamiliar with: It is guilt. If only he had killed Arthur Mitchell the first time when he had the chance. If only he had been there when Rita had come home to find death waiting for her.
Dexter arrives at the conclusion that everyone would be better off if he were not around, perhaps if he no longer existed. So, packing little but his tools, some clothes, and some mementos, Dexter takes his boat out, headed — where? Perhaps out to sea to find a watery oblivion. Perhaps not even he knows.
Dexter stops to refill the tanks of his boat with fuel. In the convenience store nearby, he encounters a jerk who manages to say exactly the wrong thing. The jerk may not exactly fit the Code of Harry, but in Texas we call him a man that needs killing. Or at least a good beat down. And so Dexter does, smashing the life out of him.
And then, for the first time since the crime scene, Harry appears to Dexter. “That is the first human thing you’ve done since Rita died.”
Then Dexter discovers something that he had not felt since he was found in the pool of his dismembered mother’s blood. That thing is grief, which he finally lets out with an animal howl that is at once horrible and cleansing.
And so after all, he returns to his children, his sister, and his cop friends with a new purpose. He gives Rita an eloquent send off. He now knows what he must do.
And, unfortunately, so does Quinn, who is not going to leave things alone. But what would Dexter’s life be without these little complications?
Source: Dexter, My Bad, TV.Rage