The end of the hurt: I found the end of something horrible and managed to find something good.
I was dating this guy from India for about a month and a half. Negativity came along and struck me hard as I tried to keep the relationship afloat. I could not figure out how or why the relationship was failing. Was there something wrong with me? Why was every relationship I had been in for the past three years failed?
I did not understand or remember a promise that I had made to someone that apparently would have an effect on my whole future.
I was in love with a man from Nepal who had been a very important part of my life. We were going to get married and I looked forward to a beautiful future with him. But, he chose a nepali woman who was born in America.
This struck me hard and effected the next few decisions I would make. I had no idea that I would run from my own fear. Perhaps judging a book by its cover really is not a wise thing to do. Because this nepali was the cover to my book of Nepal I managed to judge all nepali men to be as rude and immoral.
I was led away from Buddhism and into Christianity as my heart broke from knowing that I was not good enough for this man I had fallen in love with.
I had made a promise right before everything had changed. I had promised another Nepali that if something had happened between my boyfriend and I that I would give him a chance.
I unfortunately forgot about that promise as I decided to go for something that would please my mother. Things changed, and I walked away.
Now that things were different I had forgotten all about the promise I had made. I just wanted to do the right thing for once and I only discovered that this broken promise was doing nothing but hurting me karmic-ally.
No relationship would work for me because my heart belonged to this person I had promised my love to. I had no idea that the Buddha had plans for him and to be together.
Three years later, as if my life was mapped out before me, this same Nepali man came to me and said he has been waiting for me for three years. I decided to open my heart up to him and talk to him about things that were bugging me. This whole time I had cried out to the enlightened ones for a hero, I thought my prayers had gone un-answered.
I struggled to find the ability to let the past fall of my shoulders and open my heart up to him. I was afraid to let love in yet again because I was hurting. But his kind words healed me. I will never be the same again.