Explain to me why I hurt inside?
Why I want to die?
Why I can’t commit the ultimate crime?
Tell me why the pain cries out so loud; I hear it in my mind.
My life was okay; laughing on certain days.
Now I’m only absorbed in sadness for my loss that day.
Am I crazy for feeling such pain, hurting in so many ways, I’m lost on a train going nowhere; a dead end
Why is it a sin?
No; the ultimate sin?
To end this game called life?
When the pain feels so deep; it hurts my soul to breathe?
I sometimes ask myself; why I acted so selfish, why couldn’t I have spent five minutes listening to a story, five simple minutes that could have changed everything?
Simple; I was a child who thought he was all grown up and in age I was, but in life; not so much.
I hear his voice sometimes calling out to me, in fact I thought he touched my toe one night while I was asleep, must have been a dream, or my imagination.
It’s cold and lonely now that he’s gone; he was my hero that I treated like a bum.
People would praise my great work, when inside I felt like a jerk; I knew I was not that nice, they saw an impostor wearing a mask of smiles and a true demon on the inside.
Sometimes I sit and think it’s a total joke; waiting for the phone to ring, ring loud and clear; now nothing but air whistles through my ears; as I sit wishing for a different life.