Today, September 23, 2010, has been much like any other day – unless you have been trying to use Facebook. There is some sort of global technical malfunction that has Facebook either running poorly or completely inaccessible around the world for most of the day.
A quick web-search for news about facebook turns up dozens of articles about it, some explaining what may be the cause of the problem, but what I’ve found most fascinating are the comments to the articles. Some are hilarious, some are paranoid, some are quite sad in their desperation.
Conspiracy theories, of course abound, because (as I’ve explained in a previous article) when you can’t access your facebook, it’s perfectly natural to assume it is because “they” are “out to get you”. Here are some of the rumored causes for the massive outage:
Upgrade gone bad.
Message virus gone berzerk
Government crackdown on Ron Paul supporters causes the shut down due to the fact that Ron Paulists had boobytraped facebook because they expected it.
Government crackdown on tea partiers hit 90% of nation.
A test of the newly-installed internet kill switch.
George Soros bought facebook, renamed it the “Hate America Network”, and signed up all of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard and Al Qaeda
Psychiatric help lines are being inundated with calls from lonely people who don’t know what to do without the friends in their computers. Sadly, facebook addiction is a very real phenomenon. Most likely, in a few hours, if not already by the time this article is published, facebook will be back up and running as if nothing has happened and users will be no worse for wear. But these things happen sometimes and in the event that the outage lasts more than a short time or such a thing happens again, there are things you can do that will make it less traumatic not only for yourselves, but for all the people who have to deal with you:
Make sure you have alternate means with which to contact the people who are most important to you, that are what email addresses and phone numbers are for.
Find other things to do, read a book, watch TV, go outside, play with your kids, clean your house, or, if you are at work, try doing the job you’re being paid to do for once!
Chill out, relax, and forget about it, seriously, it’s only facebook for goodness sake!