After two weeks of saying nothing about her recent troubles, former American Idol champion Fantasia Barrino has finally broken her silence and spoken publicly about on her overdose earlier this month. In an interview given to VH1 for a new Behind the Music episode aired on August 24, 2010, the 26 year-old singer said that her overdose was “…no accident. I wanted out.”
“I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle,” she said in the interview. “I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.”
In the interview, Fantasia also spoke about her affair with Antwaun Cook, a married man; about the threatened lawsuit by Cook’s wife Paula; and how these were related to her suicide attempt
“When I met him, he was separated … wasn’t living in his home,” she explained. “He didn’t want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told.”
“I remember waking up in the hospital and thinking, ‘It didn’t work,’ ” she continued. ” ‘ I’m still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.’ “
Fantasia and her married lover are planning to move in together and eventually get married, according to multiple published stories. Paula Cook has threatened to sue Fantasia for “breaking up her marriage,” and says she and Antwaun didn’t separate until June 2010.
But the Cook affair wasn’t the only reason for Fantasia’s suicide attempt, according to Fantasia. In a separate interview given to The Gayle King Show, a syndicated radio talkie, the embattled singer listed a deepening depression that began in 2004, in the wake of her American Idol victory.
“When I was on Idol … [people] weren’t really looking at my gift,” Fantasia told Gayle King. “[Producers] were focusing on all the bad things I had done before I made it there… I have feelings, you know. I’m human.”
According to Fantasia, other factors contributed to her deepening despair as well: both her autobiography Life is Not a Fairy Tale, and a Lifetime made-for-TV movie that was adapted from her book, were savaged by critics. “…[people] picked certain things in the book, [saying], ‘She’s illiterate, she’s dumb,’ ” said Fantasia.
Fantasia’s interviews for Behind the Music and The Gayle King Show come at the same time as the release of her third album, Back to Me, on J Records.
Fantasia Barrino: Why I Attempted Suicide – People.com article
Overdose No Accident Says Fantasia – “I Wanted Out” – People.com article
Fantasia Barrino: Back to Me – thegaylekingshow.com interview