Our favorite stars and celebrities have been busy living their exquisite lives all through the month of November while the rest of us have been slogging through life and hoping to survive the rest of 2010. So let’s have a little fun catching up on some of their antics that you may have missed between the lines of the real news. These may not be the top headlines, but they’re stuff we sure need to know to make our lives complete. LOL. Read below for some fascinating details…
Our Boy Justin Bieber To Add Cologne To Nail Polish Line
Oh I can see everyone’s holiday wish lists filling up with not only Justin Bieber’s nail polishes, but also his colognes and perfumes. Us females now have the opportunity and honor to smell the way Justin Bieber thinks we should smell. There will be four scents called Energy, Tour, Icon, and Web. In case you’re confused about what, for instance, a “Tour” smells like, here’s a clue. The four smells will be Lychee & Pomegranate, Bergamot, Musk, and Cedar. Although I’m still confused. I don’t know if I want to smell like a Lychee since I don’t know what that is. Musk reminds me of a dirty basement. And Cedar is like a cedar closet, right? Oh forget it. I’m crossing it all off my list. Right now.
Jake Pavelka Is Going Back To Being An Airline Pilot
Hollywood will be SO disappointed to hear this news. I’m sure they had lots and lots of acting jobs lined up for this joker. NOT. Word is that the entertainment world didn’t exactly set out a welcome mat for Jake, and he needs to pay the rent, right? So Delta Airlines apparently is allowing him to fly their jets again. Jake will always be remembered by that TV moment when he treated Vienna so horribly that it showed all of womankind exactly what they DO NOT want in a man. Don’t let the door hit you in the behind as you’re leaving Hollywood, Jake.
Brad Womack To Be The Next Bachelor – Again
So while we’re on the subject of Bachelors we despise, let’s mention Brad Womack’s return to being The Bachelor which starts in January 2011. I’m so disgusted by the thought of this, that I don’t know what to say. Maybe I’ll write an entire article about why this is such a bad idea, just so I can vent and get it all out of my system. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Brad, we most certainly don’t have any welcome mats out for you either. Maybe a bear trap, but that’s about it.
Here’s How To Get Lauren Conrad’s Elegant Side Bun
I’m guessing this may have been one of those boring days in Hollywood when Lauren’s elegant side bun, complete with detailed instructions on how to get it, was the buzz around town. It went something like this. Start with straight hair, which eliminated most of the reading public right there. Wrap sections of hair around a big barreled curling iron. Pull plumped up hair to side of head. Secure with something. The end. Voila! Now YOU can look like Lauren Conrad too. Seriously, I wish I could.
Joe Francis From “Girls Gone Wild” Gets Married
OMG, I was rolling on the floor laughing at this headline for a good part of an afternoon one day. What, pray tell, would make a girl actually think that Joe Francis would be good husband material? Can you just imagine the snickers among the wedding guests when Joe said the part of the wedding vows where he promises to be “faithful”? Oh that must have been hilarious.
Harrison Ford Would Love To Do Indiana Jones 5
Harrison, honey, please give it up. It was reported that you said you’d love to do another Indiana Jones film. Don’t you recall that it required you to run and jump and do lots of action sequences? Even if you had a stunt man do all the hard work for you, when the cameras panned back on you, we’re suppose to believe it was you who jumped from that two story balcony, ya know? And that might be a stretch for us. Sorry, but I don’t think that would be believable. Now I understand that you look at your skinny wife, Calista Flockhart, who looks like she’s 12 years old and you probably imagine you’re young too. But let me tell you, Harrison, you are not. So let’s not hear any more jibberish about doing an Indiana Jones 5 movie, okay?
Shiloh Asked Angelina If She Could Have A Dead Pet
As if this little four year old “girl” isn’t strange enough with her boy outfits and demeanor, now she apparently wanted to own a dead animal for a pet. Is there anyone else out there who knows a four year old girl who is asking her parents for this? I think most moms out there would have responded differently than Shiloh’s mom did. I think we’d say “What the hell do you want with a dead animal in your room!? What the hell is the matter with you!? Go put on a friggin’ dress, will ya?!” But Angelina Jolie put all us moms to shame by indulging her daughter’s whim and hiring the services of a taxidermist, and giving Shiloh a dead pet bird. Oh how cute. I wonder if she named it. I wonder if it responds, at least in the mind of Shiloh. Strange little girl. I wish Brad would step in and straighten out that mess.
Mel Gibson To Fight For Custody Of Daughter With Oksana
So Mel Gibson thinks he can prove in court that he’s a stand-up guy who should be allowed to have custody of a baby girl. Is he out of his mind?! Oh yes, that’s right, he is! Just think about those horrid names he called Oksana during his hate-filled tirades over the phone. Just think about how insane he sounded when he shrieked threats at her and breathing heavy in between terrible comments. Just think about those pictures of Oksana’s broken teeth that were taken by her dentist and remember that it was Mel who broke them. Then pretend you’re a judge on a case where you need to decide who should have custody of an adorable little baby girl. Oksana or Mel. If you have any brains, little Lucia should obviously remain with her mother. Mel has to realize that all his money can’t buy his way out of THIS one.
Paris Hilton Paints Over Graffiti In High Heels
Apparently there was that little incident in August in Las Vegas that ended with Paris having to do a little community service. But Paris does everything in style. She showed up in red sunglasses, black skinny pants, a bright yellow top, and a black pair of those expensive Christian Louboutin high heels on her 29 year old feet. With paint roller in hand, Paris smiled coyly over her shoulder for the cameras, all the while making a fashion statement. By her actions, she was telling us not to let a little misdemeanor community service stand in the way of always looking hot for the paparazzi. Way to go, Paris!
Jessica Simpson Will Be Eating A Tofu Turkey For Thanksgiving
Oh, Jess, my heart goes out to you. It really does. So this guy that gave you that fabulous engagement ring is a vegan? Oh my. Strike one, huh? I hope that’s the last strike so you can finally make it to the aisle this time around. I know how much you want that, and I can’t blame you. Most girls want that happy ending. But, as my single daughter has been finding out in the dating world, most guys seem to have strange baggage, and having a man want to eat a tofu turkey is certainly strange. To quote you, Jess, you said “It doesn’t sound right. It’s gonna be jiggly and weird”. And to that, Jess, I say AMEN. Good luck with that.