Let’s catch up on some of the more riveting celebrity headlines from the month of October. It’s imperative we keep informed of these activities or else ….. I’m not sure what else, but I know they’re important, so read on…
Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo Saving The Earth One Shower At A Time
This may be TMI (too much information) for some people, but actually, it shows us just how “green” and environmentally friendly both Nick and Vanessa really are. Vanessa was giving an interview and revealed some intimate habits of theirs. One was that they both showered together in order to save water. Here are a few quotes from that said interview. “It’s so funny because we’ve turned it into an intimate time for each other”. Well I guess so since you’re both naked and all. Then she said that Nick likes to sing in the shower. She followed that up with this actual quote “Sometimes I have to catch myself because I take for granted how beautiful his voice is and how it’s in the palm of my hand”. Seriously. She’s telling us how they’re naked together and how she has something of his in the palm of her hand. Am I the only pervert here who thinks impure thoughts when reading that?
The Secrets To Kim Kardashian’s Success
Honestly, this was the headline. But when you opened it up, all they had were some photographs, all showing, you guessed it, Kim’s ample backside. I guess that was the big “secret”. But really, it’s not a secret when it’s in full view and we’ve seen it lots of times, is it?
Michael Lohan Announces He’s Done With Making Announcements
Michael Lohan made a special announcement to tell us that he’s finished with making special announcements about his family and his feelings about his daughter, Lindsay. Let’s all take bets on how long Michael can stay out of the spotlight. I think he thinks it’s his job to put on a suit every day and talk about Lindsay to the paparazzi. Should be interesting.
Copy Keira Knightley’s New Glam Look!
They even put an exclamation point at the end of the headline. Trust me. You do NOT want to copy Keira Knightley’s new glam look. It consists of chopping off her hair in order to give her that hideous pixie cut that all the stupid celeb girls are getting these days. Another one is Michelle Williams. OMG, she went from a beautiful girl to a very ugly girl with a few strokes of the scissors. Did they actually look in the mirror before they left the beauty salon? Ugh.
Kanye West Flashes Diamond Teeth
We’re not talking about a grill that you take in and out of your mouth. We’re talking about permanent teeth. Talk about not knowing what to spend your money on next. Kanye decided it was “cooler” to put diamonds on his teeth. He said, and I quote, “I guess there’s just certain stuff that rock stars are suppose to do”. Rock star? Since when did Kanye sing a rock song? Did I miss that?
Hilary Swank Flaunts Armpit Hair
C’mon now. Give the girl a break. This article was combined with a lovely zoom in picture of Hilary’s armpit with some hair on it. Just great. And I saw that while I was eating lunch too. Do we really need to see that and do we really care about stuff like that? Poor girl must have been mortified. I would say that she was hardly “flaunting” it. She was probably just in a rush that morning while taking a shower.
Justin Bieber To Launch Nail Polish Line
He’s sixteen years old. He’s a guy. And he’s launching a nail polish line. Does that make sense? The article said that the polish will be based on his songs. Say what? They gave an example. The “One Less Lonely Girl” collection will be coming out in December with six shades. There’s a silver one called “Give Me The First Dance” and a dark blue one called “Me & Blue”. …. Just call me “Very Confused”. Then again, maybe it’s Justin who is confused.
Joe Jackson Wants Half A Billion Bucks
Joe Jackson, the father who allegedly beat the crap out of Michael Jackson when he was growing up, is now suing the doctor who gave MJ that propofol stuff. It’s amazing that any lawyer would take this case seriously, but apparently there is one who did. Joe Jackson claims that the money he seeks is “in the realistic range of provable damages”. Yeah, half a billion bucks sounds realistic to me, how about you? He goes on to map it out for us. Joe says that 20% are for loss of support, 40% is for his emotional distress and the last 40% is for the loss of his comfort, aid, society and companionship”. I think he can take away the 40% for emotional distress since he supposedly made Michael Jackson emotionally distressed for much of his life, so that should cancel it out, don’t you think? And companionship? Did Michael and his Dad hang out much? Didn’t think so.
Uma Thurman’s Makeup Malfunction
Yes, it’s true. It’s not enough that we’re all suffering with the economy and world turmoil and all, but Uma also had to deal with some makeup that went awry this week. The crime scene happened at an annual gala in New York City when, all of a sudden, Uma appeared on the red carpet with a serious powder snafu. That just means she had too much powder left on her face. I’m so glad some sharp journalist or photographer caught this unfortunate incident because otherwise we might not have known about this.
Mena Suvari Feels More Relaxed As A Married Woman
When I read that headline, I figured she must be only married for about twenty minutes. And I was right. She just got married a few months ago, and she’s already doling out advice for the single ladies claiming that marriage makes her feel comfortable, settled and nice. I guess that is instead of uncomfortable, unsettled and mean. I’m not sure. When the reporter asked her what her and hubby did mostly, she said they “travel and gamble”. Must be nice. I think I’d enjoy a life where I could do nothing but travel and gamble too. It’s actually very amusing to hear quotes from some celebrities to hear their skewered take on the realities of life.
I wonder what activities our favorite stars will be enjoying for our pleasure in the coming weeks. What countries will they travel to that we never could? What luxuries will they buy which we never could? And how big will their paychecks grow while ours shrivels to next to nothing. And how much whining and complaining will they do when someone wants to take their picture or get an autograph because, after all, they have important places to go and important things to do. Don’t get me started on THAT subject. Till next time…