Fortune Cookies From Hell
Your Priest will invite your son for a sleep-over.
Your mother-in-law will have a LONG healthy life and move in with you.
The Cubs and you share the same fate. Can you say loser?
You will not have a heart attack. A bus will run you over first.
Your ex-wife wants to get back together and “work it out”
The IRS has you on Speed Dial.
Bambi has a STD.
You will discover your husband wearing your panty hose.
Your son has something special to tell you about his sexuality.
Your TV will break down on Super Bowl Sunday when you are having that big party.
You will not need a witch costume for Halloween. Just be yourself.
The scale is NOT wrong.
Your stock broker will make it to Brazil safely before anyone notices your funds are missing.
Food Stamps, Welfare and a Homeless Shelter in your future.
Your wife will not leave you. You have another 30 years together.
You will win the special Michael Jackson DVD.
The FBI wants to talk to you.
God is pissed at you and you will pay. My advice – don’t die.
Don’t expect any woman to ” fall for ” you bank account
Your husband will not leave you. You have another 30 years together.