Known for its comedy, the mockumentary “Modern Family” is full of lovable, hilarious characters. Here are some of the funniest quotes from season one.
Gloria: “It’s important that we teach him how to do things for himself (Manny). In my culture men take great pride in doing physical labor.”
Jay: “I know, that’s why I hire people from your culture.”
Gloria: “You’re too funny. I’m going to share that one with my next husband when we’re spending all your money.”
Cameron: “There’s a fish in nature that swims around with its babies in it’s mouth. That fish would look at Mitchell’s relationship with his mother and say ‘that’s messed up.'”
Claire: “Look at how young we are. Oh god that perm.”
Phil: “Yeah it really framed my face.”
Jay: “Christmas should be Christmas. Picture on the stairs. Hot chocolate. Opening the presents. That was supposed to be the good thing about having a kid in the house again. I can have Christmas the way we used to.”
Cameron: “I hear you Jay. If I was home right now I’d be mixing up a bathtub full of egg nog and trying to squeeze a greased hog into a Santa hat. You don’t think I miss that?”
Mitchell: “Do you?”
Jay: “Just stop it. Please. Don’t you see how hard this is for me? See I used to be just like one of those guys. Now look at me, I got a house looks like little Columbia, I got a gay son, and a Chinese granddaughter.”
Jay: “Only you would know the difference…”
Claire, to her husband, Phil: “Tell me about your wife.”
Phil: “Well she’s beautiful of course.
Claire: “Really? Well if she’s so very beautiful, then why are you here with me?
Phil: “Because she’s always so tired and she’s always making lists of things for me to do.”
Claire: “Maybe if you did them she’ wouldn’t be so tired.
Phil: “Oh no, she can make lists for days. But back to your mouth and how sexy it is.”
Claire: “Denise? Do I know Denise?”
Phil: “Yeah, you know my old girlfriend.”
Haley: “Oh my god gross I can’t even picture you with a woman.
Claire: “Thank you.”
Luke: “You had a girlfriend before Mom?”
Phil: “Try two. Trust me, I had plenty of fun in my time. Then I met your mom.”
Phil: “Actually, Claire and I were supposed to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon, but something else came up.”
Claire: “I got pregnant with Haley.”
Phil: “My bad!”