Serena and Blair are still in Paris but are lamenting that they have to go back to NYC soon. Serena still hasn’t made her choice between Dan and Nate and somehow the two are like bagels or doughnuts or something but distractingly Serena’s hairdo looks like a croissant with a weird little tail. She also looked like she was captured by space aliens and they dressed her in a metallic heavily-shoulder-padded jacket and blindingly ugly ill-fitting blue pants. Blair doesn’t seem to notice her BFF’s wardrobe malfunction because she somehow managed to get another date with Prince Grimaldi. Serena gets a call from Lily asking her to go to the morgue to see if a body there is Chuck’s since his ID was found on it.
Chuck is romping around in bed with his French amie Eva who rescued him when he was shot in Prague. Her uncle has given him a job at his restaurant. He just happens to see Blair in the street but she’s aghast and tells her driver not to stop for pedestrians and off they go.
Blair is getting ready for her Grimaldi date when Serena shows up and says she was just at the morgue to identify a body. Blair says she doesn’t care what clubs Serena has been going to HA Haaa. And that she just saw Chuck so she knows it wasn’t his body. So Serena goes out to look for Chuck but he pretends he doesn’t know her when she shows up at his nest d’amour. Chuck then tells his amie that they need to go escape to India. Serena finds out that Chuck is going to disappear again and tells Blair to stop him. Blair is conflicted between this and her French date but of course goes to Chuck. In the best part of the episode she tearfully tells Chuck that he has to come back to NYC because he didn’t destroy her and it wouldn’t be her world without him in it.
Back in the city Lily and Rufus turn Jenny’s old room at the Dumbo loft into a nursery for Milo.
Juliet is trying to help Nate get over Serena by manipulating Dan to go after Vanessa and getting Nate a date.
Back in Brooklyn Dan and Vanessa have sex on the couch because Nate fed her a lie that Dan told him he misses her… snore oops sorry fell asleep there. But of course he confronts her later on and she forgives him once again and the most boring couple in the world are probably back together but we don’t care.
Serena shows up back at the Dumbo loft to be confronted with Dan and Vanessa holding hands, Nate and Juliet holding hands, and Dan’s kid.
At the Midtown penthouse Rufus looks at Milo’s hospital wristband and it says his blood type is O -. He’s more suspicious because that type is rare and not Dan’s.
Chuck appears in full on pinstriped suit mode and asks his French amie to come to New York with him.
Juliet is seen taking the pictures of Nate and Serena off her bulletin board. She’s talking on the phone to someone saying she did what she was supposed to and she misses them.
Next episode: “The Undergraduates” The gang is back in NYC. Serena still thinks everything is about her, Blair is back at high society scheming and Rufus goes into papa bear mode.
– Yay another Jenny-free episode. The only mention they had of her was turning her old room at the Dumbo loft into Milo’s nursery.
– Does Vanessa still have absolutely no self-esteem and still lets herself get manipulated by Dan and Nate? It seemed promising when she went behind Dan’s back last year to apply for the same fellowship.
– Isn’t Nate suspicious that Ella Juliet is so helpful?