Are you looking for a Halloween costume that’s really scary this year? Something that has a good chance of winning the scariest costume award? Maybe also something that isn’t too hard to pull together? Well, throw out the usual monster retinue this year. Even vampires have lost their bite. This year, scare people witless with costumes that are socially relevant! Oooooooooooooo……
These two costumes are really easy to assemble, which is great if you waited to the last minute to come up with something or if you don’t have a lot of time to pull it all together. However, they take more work to wear effectively. The outfit alone is not enough. You have to work it to make them work! Or, rather, you’ll need to play the part. Slip into character and have fun with these!
Be President Christine O’Donnell
In the not-too-distant future, Christine O’Donnell runs for the oval office and manages to get elected! What will the world come to?
The outfit hinges mostly on the hair. If you aren’t naturally endowed with hair that resembles the real Christine’s hair, then head to a wig shop and buy it. Get it styled to look as much like hers as possible. Having the right hair will go a long way to selling the costume.
For clothes, she hasn’t changed her style that much. She still wears the same sort of business suits that she wears to debates and other public events today. Look for a V-neck suit in colors such as black, gray, dark green, bright blue, or red. If in doubt, Google her name and copy her look from the various pictures that pop up.
Optionally, complete the outfit by wearing a strand of white pearls. She often, but not always, wears this accessory.
Now add the finishing touch. Carry a tea bag around in your fingers whenever possible!
Make sure the outfit has pockets, and/or carry a large purse. Fill those pockets and that purse with tea bags. You’ll need lots and lots of tea bags. In fact, depending on how many people you expect to run into, you may want to have a backup supply in your car.
Whenever you introduce yourself, reaffirm your stance that you are a representative of the values of the American people, and offer the other person a bag of tea. (If they accept it, simply pull out another one so you can continue holding one, too.)
Deny that you are a witch as often as possible. Practice saying it with Christine’s cadence: “I am not a witch.”
Discuss politics, religion, and morals at any opportunity. Especially play up her “chaste” stance; perhaps discuss your plans to make lust illegal. Have fun with this. You can play it “straight” and try to portray how Christine might really evolve in a few more years and a presidential candidacy, or you can ramp up the mockery and exaggerate things she has actually said and perhaps invent more things she might say.
If you can rope in a friend or two who are looking for less-demanding role-play in a costume, give yourself a proper presidential secret service escort. Have them security sweep rooms before you enter, or just stand around you looking tough and occasionally talking into their headsets.
Be a High Priestess of the Boobquake Terrorist Cult
As we now know, women have the mystical power to cause earthquakes simply by dressing scantily. This works because it corrupts the chastity of men and thereby spreads adultery, and adultery causes earthquakes. This new enlightenment has made it possible for a new type of terrorist to arise – the scantily-dressed kind. The Boobquake Terrorist Cult recruits like-minded women to wear as little clothing as possible until we get what we want – or until we get bored and do something else, whichever happens first.
For the outfit itself, wear the lowest-cut top and the shortest miniskirt you can. Wear glamour-style makeup, or paint your face like a slut – either option works great.
Optionally, because you are a priestess of the cult, you can add a long Jedi-style robe with a hood – but, of course, you need to leave the robe open and pushed back behind your shoulders so your scanty clothing can work its magic.
Strut your stuff as much as possible. Your terror agenda mandates that you incite lust across the land, so get to work.
When talking to other women, try to recruit them to the cause. If men express interest in joining, sign them up by assigning tasks such as visiting strip clubs or trying to score with as many women as they can. Although the cult is new, it represents a serious threat to the world, eventually – with enough members.
As for the organization’s actual agenda, it could be almost anything. Exercise your creativity and enjoy. Likewise, you can invent the meetings, customs, and rituals of your cult. You can also be secretive about certain things until after initiation – especially if you can’t think up a good answer for them.
The only thing you must adhere to is the historical note that your cult took its name and inspiration from the “Boobquake” event on April 26, 2010 and the movement that built up around it. This is important for your costume to make sense!
You should also make sure to point out that, while your cult took inspiration from Boobquake, you are not affiliated with it in any way. Your cult has a completely different agenda and purpose. Not only will explaining this make your costume role-playing seem more genuine, it will also shield you from humorless literalists who would otherwise spoil your fun by explaining (at great length) why you got the Boobquake event all wrong. Remember that you did not get it wrong – you are simply something else, end of story.
If you can get any of your friends interested, this costume becomes even better when done as a group. Everyone can simply wear the skimpiest outfit they have, rendering it quite easy to pull together. Of course, you’ll all have to agree on the cult’s information in advance. Hold a group meeting beforehand to iron out the details and train your members. One of the best features of this costume as a group effort is that you don’t need to stick together to make it work. It doesn’t even matter if you arrive together or not. Simply fan out and start recruiting! The more people you have, the more eerily realistic the cult will seem. In fact, if you’re really lucky, you’ll successfully recruit a bunch of sexy vampires and sexy witches by the end of the night, growing your cult’s numbers.