Breaking up with a nice guy? Show him the same respect he’s always given you by following seven key steps. They are ones that will make your decision less hurtful to him and preserve your reputation of being a sweet (fair) girl.
Step 1: Be serious.
Do you really want to part ways or just go on a date with another man? Before you play pretend with your boyfriend in order to test out a potential new lover, make sure you’re serious. Don’t treat your current sweetheart like a yo-yo that can be pulled back and forth into a relationship.
Step 2: Meet privately.
Break up with your nice guy face-to-face and in private. Invite him over or join him for a walk in a secluded park. Then, say your piece. By staying out of the limelight, you give him the opportunity to hear what you have to say without distraction and respond genuinely.
Step 3: Tell the truth.
Maintain your integrity when you split with your boyfriend by being honest. Avoid making up a story like you’re moving out of the area to pursue a new career or have to devout all of your free time to caring for a sick relative. He’ll know you’re lying to him anyway and be insulted by your behavior. So, trust that he can handle the truth and give him the real reason behind your decision.
Step 4: Stay respectful.
When you break up with your nice guy, act courteous. The truth doesn’t have to be brutal. Avoid using disrespectful labels like “poor lover” or “loser”. These types of tags are hard for anyone to shake and can affect a person’s future relationships. Plus, your view of your soon-to-be ex is subjective. The next woman might adore all of the attributes you hate about him.
Step 5: Act understanding.
After you tell your boyfriend that you want to move on, be understanding. He may react with anger, disbelief or stoicism. Many men do because they aren’t socialized like women to be in touch with their feelings. Give him a boatload of compassion even if you think he should have seen that things weren’t working out. Remember, one day, you might be on the other end of this type of situation and want the same consideration.
Step 6: Decline his services.
Unfortunately, some women who break up with nice guys keep them around afterwards only for personal gain. Don’t resort to this type of foolishness. Although your ex-boyfriend might still be willing to come over and take out the trash, pay a few bills and do laundry, decline his help. Advise him to provide these services to another woman, one who loves him and is committed to him.
Step 7: Remain quiet (for a while).
Before you start spreading the word about your failed relationship, keep quiet for a while. Give your ex-boyfriend at least a week to fall into his new status. This way, when his boys start asking him about you, he can tell them first and not be ambushed by gossip.
Use these seven steps when you break up with your nice guy. Save your dirty tricks for a bad boy. You know, the dude who ran up your credit cards and slept with two of your girlfriends. Nice men are hard to find and you might want to rekindle your relationship in the future after you find out that he’s the only man willing to treat you like a queen.