It’s bound to happen; it’s almost inevitable – you find out your ex is dating someone else. This could catch you off guard or you may not be surprised at all, either way, it could still have an effect on you. Whether you were together for months or years, chances are it will not be easy to hear. Knowing how to cope can help you to deal with the news easier.
Let the Emotions Flow . . . in Private
If you see your ex from across a crowded bar and he has his new girlfriend attached to his arm, the worst thing you can do is express any emotion then and there. Take deep breaths and, whatever you are feeling, wait to let it out until you get home. Even the bathroom at the location can be a dangerous spot as there could be people in there that know one or all of you. If you have to leave to keep yourself calm, then do so. When you get home, scream, cry, punch a pillow or do whatever else you have to do to let the emotions out; they will only eat away at you otherwise.
Be Completely Nice
I’ve heard about and seen more than enough cases where an ex showed up with a new significant other and one thing that tends to bother the ex the most is being faced with complete kindness; it can almost cause a paralyzed state of confusion. Even if you would rather drop kick your ex into the next century, plaster a smile on your face and be genuinely nice. It may be difficult but chances are you will feel better about yourself than if you were to give him a thousand verbal lashes.
Resist the Urge to Badmouth
This can take a huge amount of willpower to not badmouth your ex or the new significant other. You may have an urge to call several people to complain or spew every insult possible to the messenger of the news. While this may make you feel better temporarily, chances are it won’t last very long and you could actually feel worse. As far as what you can do when confronted with a chance to insult, smile, say something along the lines of “I don’t really have an opinion.” then change the subject.
Avoid Any Information of the New Couple
It can be very tempting to check social networking sites to view information or pictures of the new couple, but for your own sanity, don’t do it. You should actually avoid it at all costs. The only thing it will do is stir up anger, jealousy, sadness and every other emotion you probably don’t want to deal with all because you were curious. Eliminate any chances that you will unintentionally come across any information.
Smile . . . A Lot
Smiling is one of the best things you can do to get through a rough situation, and learning that your ex is with someone else just may be one of those times. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself smile, whether it is watch cheesy movies or go out with your friends. Make an extra conscious effort to do this in the first few days after you find out.
Some take the news that their ex is with someone else harder than others. Even if you are with someone, that doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to feel slightly bothered by the news, especially if it was a serious relationship. Facing the news head on can be better for you in the present as well as in the future.