Family structures are not as strong as they used to be. Too many distractions and the breakdown of disciplining or the lack of discipline and the fact that everybody is just too busy. Unfortunately because of stress and the lack of time, parents are often at odds with one another which creates tension in the home, which will affect your teen.
Also, in today’s society, there are a lot of parents themselves that are heavily involved in drugs and other illegal activity. They have no idea how this behavior is detrimental to their teen.
No matter what, you should expect a little defiance. Your teen must start to separate from your family. Normal behavior might include arguing about curfew, friends, etc.
Parents still need to know how to exercise the right proportions of flexibility and supervision. Parents need to set limits and maintain them.
Check with other parents of the children your child is friends with. Ask them what curfews they set for their own. Kids will often exaggerate what their friends are doing so go to the adults for accurate information.
Both parents, whether married or divorced needs to agree on the rules and support one another in all decisions.
Discuss the rules with your child. Explain why you are setting rules and be prepared to back up your ideas because most kids will question you.
Rules must be geared toward the ability of your child’s responsibility level. If they are very responsible give them a little more slack every now and then as a reward.
Okay, if your child is not abiding by the rules the first thing to remember is to not confront them with hostility and anger. If you feel this way, back away, gather your thoughts until you can confront them with a more positive outlook.
Remember to praise the child for what they do right before focusing on the wrong.
Defiant behavior is generally used to get attention or to test your limits.
Always deal with your child with understanding. Children react best to fairness. But it is all right to be angry if your anger is motivated by your concern for their safety. Your goal as a parent is to protect.
Don’t ever deliver threats for a certain punishment that you will never carry out. It shows the child that your all talk, no action. Always give one warning.
Effective punishment can be dealt with by withholding allowances or withdrawing privileges.
Punishment should fit the crime. Not taking care of chores deserves a lesser punishment than if you had caught your teenager drinking.
Punishment is hard to deal out. Nobody likes to disappoint their child, but it is necessary for their development in life.