The skill to drive an ox cart may mean the difference between life and death if you are stranded with no other means of transportation and are being chased by dreadful killers. This how to article will teach you the skill needed to escape such an attack by using an ox cart.
The first thing to do is determine which kind of ox cart you have. There are two basic types of ox carts. The first is the two seater ox cart which is distinguished by not by having two seats but by having one board long enough for two average sized persons to sit upon. If you are larger than average this may cause a problem. The second type and more rare is the stand up seatless variety. If this is your ox cart refer to the instructions at the end. I will first deal with the two seater.
The second thing you need to determine is if the ox is attached or hitched to the ox cart. The cart will not move without an ox attached. To determine if an ox is attached to your cart sit on the seat and stare forward and slightly downward. If an ox is attached to your cart, you will notice a somewhat circular motion of a tail swishing back and forth. This would be the ox tail and the tail is attached to an ox in most cases. This method of determining if an ox is attached to your cart is 83% effective.
If the ox is not attached to your cart you must first find an ox then attach it to the cart. The selection of an ox will be determined by how close the dreadful killers are behind you. If you can hear their footsteps you do not have much time to carefully choose an ox. On the other hand if you can just barely make out the dust rising in the distance as the dreadful killers chase after you, there will be enough time to choose an ox.
When choosing an ox to attach to your cart you need to take into consideration these three points. One, how far do you plan to be chased. Two, how fast do you need to go. Three, The mottling of the oxen’s hide. Once you have taken these three points into consideration make your choice and pull your ox over to your cart.
To attach your ox to your cart you will need a yoke and a set of ox reins. A yoke is an oval shaped ring with two knobs distinguishing the top side. The yoke can usually be found lying on the right side of the rear barn door. The ox reins may take a little more time to find. These are easily mistaken for horse or mule reins and one never wants to use a mule rein in place of an ox rein. Ox reins are identified by the dried blood left in the end of the reins. Do not use reins that have pieces of skin or fingers attached.
Once you have the yoke and reins take them to your ox whom you left by your cart. If the ox is still there, place the yoke over its head with the two protuberant knobs facing upwards. Use these knobs to adjust the yoke so it settles onto your oxen’s shoulder blades. Next you want to tie the right ox rein to the right or correct ring. If you get the reins turned around the ox will not be able to walk in a straight line so be careful the right goes on the right side and then the left goes on the left side.
To tie the ox rein to the yoke you need to use an ox yoke half hitch knot. To tie this knot, take the rein and insert it through the ring on the yoke. Then twist the rein back over itself to form a loop, tucking the excess you now have inside your forefinger into this loop , you can pull it taught leaving two ends dangling. Take these two ends and place the right end under the left end so one end is lower than the other and pull up on the lower end which you will then push through the yoke ring and pull tight. You have now made an ox yoke half hitch. Repeat the knot on the other side.
With the ox correctly attached to your ox cart you are now ready to start driving away. To get the ox to move forward say: “Yo Ho De Do Go Ox” You may have to repeat this command several times and if you have a Mexican ox you might have to say it in Spanish which would be: “Yo Ho et De te Do IR el Buey” If your ox speaks a different language you will have to find the correct translation for the command. Don’t ever say “Giddy Up” to an ox they are very sensitive to that kind of command.
To steer your ox you need to use your ox reins. To turn right pull firmly on your left rein then loosen and pull three times on your right rein. To turn left, simply let go of both reins and the ox will go left naturally, pull back on the reins when you want the ox to continue walking straight.
Now that you have the basic instructions about driving an ox cart you will be able to outrun the dreadful killers who are chasing you. It is always helpful to keep a copy of these instructions with you to refer back to when you need them. Remember that the most important thing is to always wear plaid.
This is the second in a series of survival articles. The first article was ” How to Survive a Dinosaur Attack.”