How to Embarrass your Partner without Really Trying
Early in our relationship, my “now husband” and I were sitting in the living room watching TV. As men do, he fell asleep. Being the mischievous sort of person that I am, I devised a plan. I was polishing my nails a very bright and sassy red. When they dried I noticed 10 more nails on my lap. He was resting his feet on my lap. It probably would go without saying that I polished those toenails with a grin on my face that some people would pay to see.
He accepted my artistry without much of problem until we discovered that I didn’t have any nail polish remover. No big deal, we could get some the next time we went shopping. It wasn’t summer, so sandals were not the shoe of the day.
It was about that time that we moved to a new home. The day of the move came and he was not himself. Slow to help with the move and with a look of discomfort on his face he completed the move and we settled in. It was at that time that he finally told me of the abdominal discomfort he had been experiencing all day. I became a bit concerned and started the search for my stethoscope. I am a nurse. I listened to his abdomen and heard the distinctive sound of silence. No bowel sounds anywhere.
To say I became a bit alarmed is an understatement. I called the doctor and got him to the emergency room of the hospital in which I was employed. The ER nurse also heard no bowel sounds. The ER resident ordered intravenous fluids and the surgeon said to prepare him for surgery.
When the nurse came back in, she started with the routine questions. What is your age, are you allergic to any medication, what is your medical history? They were all rather important and yet benign. Then she asked the magic question to which she expected a definitive “no” as a reply. Do you have any nail polish on? He turned pale. I almost laughed myself under the examining table.
The nurse did her best to maintain her professional decorum, but it was an effort. Off she went for some remover and the process was complete and progress was made.