Facebook has emerged as the top social networking website on the Internet, along with such sites as Twitter and Myspace. Facebook’s unique platform of ‘friending’ people you know along with people you used to know has caught on like wildfire. If you are unfamiliar with Facebook, chances are you’ve been living under a rock or in solitary confinement. Originally co-founded by entrepreneur Mark Zuckerberg while attending Harvard, Facebook has evolved from a small student directory to a worldwide phenomenon.
People use Facebook for a variety of reasons — to keep in touch with current friends, find new friends, to find old friends, to find old colleague, current co-workers, old school friends, to network, and to find love. Facebook’s interconnected network of friends, friends of friends, groups, schools, and Facebook fan pages make it possible to be connected to virtually anyone by ‘six degrees of separation’.
Many people are curious to know what their exes are up to and wonder if they can find their ex on Facebook. It’s fairly easy to find an former lover on Facebook if you know where to look. First, you would search for their name, that’s the easiest step. If you know the city in which they currently live, you can use that to narrow your Facebook search. Your ex boyfriend or girlfriend might have their Facebook privacy settings on so tightly that you may not even know it’s them. With Facebook privacy settings, you can choose to have all, some, or none of your private information shown. So, what do you do if your ex has a common name?
If you’re trying to find your ex on Facebook and they have a common name as well as tight privacy settings, the second thing you can do is try to find some mutual friends. If you add a mutual friend, you may be able to see some of your ex boyfriend’s information if they have some privacy settings that ‘friends of friends’ can see. If you and your ex don’t share any mutual Facebook friends, another avenue is to seek out groups your ex may belong to, such as a former college or a band they like.
It’s important to examine exactly why you want to find your ex using Facebook. After all, you broke up for a reason. However, if you’re having regrets and want to work things out, Facebook may make it easier than actually picking up the phone and calling your former boy/girlfriend. If you broke up years ago and you’re just curious as to where life has taken then, it’s perfectly fine to send a friendly message such as “So glad to see you on Facebook. Your family looks beautiful…how have you been?” or something light and friendly.
If you just want to use Facebook to stalk your ex and find out who they’re dating so you can obsess about them and bring about negativity to your life and their life, it’s probably not worth looking for an ex on Facebook. We’re all curious, but anything that may compromise your mental health or dignity is decidedly unwise.
Re-connecting with a former flame on a social networking site such as Facebook can be either a positive or negative experience depending on how you approach it. Remember, if someone expresses they have interest in communicating with you, it’s best to back off. Anything else can be considered harassment and you run the risk of having your Facebook account terminated.
Good luck in your search and remember, be smart, act responsibly, and have fun!