At one time or another, just about all of us have been in love with someone who isn’t in love with us. If that has happened to you and you’re trying to get over someone, there are ways to do it. Getting over someone takes time, hurts a lot and isn’t something I would wish on my worst enemy. But, if you think the person you love is never going to love you, getting over them is the only right thing to do.
Cut Off All Contact – While some people will tell you “Let’s be friends”, most of us have discovered when in that situation, you can’t be friends with someone you’re in love with who doesn’t love you back. If you break up with someone, or find out they don’t love you like you love them, cut off all contact. It may hurt at the time but, just like ripping off that bandage really fast, it hurts for a much shorter time and you get over the other person faster.
Get Busy – The worst thing you can do when you’re trying to get over someone is to sit around crying and moping and feeling sorry for yourself. Get busy. Take some classes, learn a new hobby, make some new friends or spend time with old ones, read a good book, rent some good movies, pick up a sport, go on a mini vacation – do anything that will get your mind off the person you loved and onto something more constructive and positive.
Surround Yourself With Friends and Family – When I’ve broken up with someone, the best thing I’ve discovered is to set up lunch and dinner dates with friends and family to get my mind off the other person. When you’re in a big group of laughing friends, it’s hard to feel depressed and miss the person you’re in love with. Just don’t use it as an excuse to whine to your friends about how much you miss that girl or that guy. That’s not what surrounding yourself with friends is for and, long term, it’s not healthy.
Meet Someone Else – The best cure for a broken heart is to find someone else. So, even though you’re not feeling like going out to meet people, do it anyway. When you meet someone else who’s funny, smart and kind, it’s amazing how fast that first person just disappears from your head.
I have a friend who is rarely without a boyfriend. But she makes it that way. As soon as she breaks up with one guy, she only allows herself a few days to feel sorry for herself. Then she gets dressed up and heads out with friends in the hopes of meeting someone else, and almost always succeeds. Surprisingly too, a couple of the guys who broke up with her have come back around when they’ve realized she’s not calling begging them to reconsider. The problem is (for them, anyway), by that point she’s already met someone else and moved on. Pay back’s a bitch.
Let Go and Let God – Firstly, I’m an atheist, so not even remotely religious. But, there is something to be said for the phrase “Let Go and Let God”. As we all know, if things are meant to be they have a funny way of always working themselves out. If you let go and just let things be, you may find a little ways down the road, the person you are in love with suddenly feels the same way about you and they’ll find their way back to you. Let Go and Let God.
When you need to get over someone, the worst thing you can do is sit around reading their old emails, paging through their cute text messages, or wallowing in self-pity. Allow yourself a couple of days to do that, then get up and at ’em, and move on. Life’s too short to waste time over someone that doesn’t want you. There are plenty of other people out there who will. Get out and find them.