Well the holidays are fast approaching and it is not too late to run and hide until they pass. But if you insist on hanging around some one close to you is going to expect a present. And that means that you will have to wrap it. So here are some wrapping tips:
Don’t. There really is no point in wrapping something if the store does it for you. Hello! Why inflict unnecessary pain upon yourself, unless you are one of those individuals who actually have the talent to wrap a gift. Talent is a matter of opinion. I think that if you even know how to curl a ribbon, you are far above my level of talent. Whenever I wrap gifts, the recipients always want to know if a bus ran over it or I had a two-year old help me wrap it.
And you get a good feeling when the store wraps a gift. Many stores have a special gift wrapping table where local charities wrap the gifts and you give them a donation. So you help a charity and avoid the pain of wrapping the gift yourself. If you wrap the gift yourself, well at least in my case, that turns into a whine-whine situation. Having the charity do it for you, is a win-win.
Another advantage of having the store wrap the gift for you, is no super glue. And I hate super glue because half of it gets on the package I am trying to wrap and the other half gets on my fingers and they get unstuck about a week later. You can always tell when it is the holiday season, as I wlk around with my fingers glued together. Sometime it is three fingers, but most of the time, if I am very careful, it is just two fingers glued together.
What? You don’t use super glue to gift-wrap? I know that many people use invisible tape, but I can never find any. After-all it is invisible! I do buy three or four rolls at the dollar store each holiday season and then promptly misplace the tape, leaving me scrambling to find some way of wrapping the package. Of course, I do tend to wait until the very last minute to wrap the package and I have used duct tape, super glue and even a band aid ( it was NOT used, it was clean) to fashion packages together.
Maybe that is why when Uncle Phil shows up with a package, people look at me like I was drinking while I wrapped the packages. They may be right. Of course, the package may smell like bourbon as I may have spilled some on the package as it is very hard to not spill when your fingers are super glued together.
Anyway – on with the tips. Always order presents online. This way you don’t have to wrap them at all. They arrive at the person’s house already in that snappy brown UPS box,, which is kinda like wrapping them.
Also use newspapers. Actually this is a very good tip. I often use the Sunday comics to wrap a gift as they are colorful and serve a double purpose. You are recycling, let’s face it most gift wrap ends up in the trash anyway, and you are also giving the person not only a gift, but free reading material.
And bags are good! You can buy many bags at the dollar store and just stick the gift in them. If you do not have tissue paper to make the bag look attractive, you can always use toilet paper or Kleenex. It looks somewhat like fancy tissue paper.
I would recommend staying away from sharp scissors when you have been drinking and your fingers are glued together, but that is another story we really don’t need to discuss right now.