Buzzkill – “someone or something that stops people from enjoying themselves.” http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/buzzkill
How many of you can name someone, right now, who is a buzzkill? Try not to respond out loud if the buzzkill is sitting next to you while you are reading this.
A buzzkill is the person who will ruin your good day with a comment or gesture that turns you off. A buzzkill is also the person that is a downer when you have good news.
Example: You: Hey, I got a promotion at work!
Buzzkill: I bet they are not paying you much more. (Or, if the buzzkill works with you they might say it is because they didn’t apply or because you kiss up)
Example 2: You: Hey, I met a great guy/girl that I think could be the one!
Buzzkill: You said that the last 5 times. (Or, the buzzkill might do their best to point out the person’s flaws)
The buzzkill is typically unhappy and may or may not realize what a downer they are being to you and others around them. So, how do you handle these buzzkills when they are your family or friends? I have 3 suggestions. Feel free to add additional suggestions in the comments box.
1) Minimize your time with them – This may be tough if the buzzkill lives in the house with you. However, if the buzzkill is a friend or co-worker then you should put more space between you and them. Why let that person continue to bring you down and ruin your productive days? You are not doing them or yourself a favor by continuing to put yourself in a position to be brought down.
2) Get new friends – Some of us have friends that bring us down as soon as they walk into a room. I remember learning about a law in physics that says “energy is neither lost nor destroyed, it is merely transferred from one party to the next.” This law suggests if we spend more time around people with positive energy then this is the type of energy that will transfer onto us. Wouldn’t this be a better option than being around negative people who leave us wondering why we all of sudden feel sad?
3) Grow thicker skin – If you are like me, you have to learn to stop letting other people’s sadness and/or meanness get to you so easily. This is easier said than done when the person bringing you down is someone you love. In these instances, we have to make a judgment call on when it is time to call them out and let them know they are bringing you down and it has to change.
There is no “one size fits all” approach to handling the buzzkills in your life. However, it is necessary to handle them or they will continue to handle you.