It’s hard isn’t it? When you see your child so patiently waiting for “dad” to show up.He sits so still and never takes his eyes off the road. What do you say when dad doesn’t show up? It can make you angry to see your son try so hard to put on a brave face,when you know deep down inside he’s hurt. How do you make the hurt go away?
Don’t do this
Well first thing to not do is to “down the other parent” in front of the child. That is the one thing that will make the child want to go to the dad even more. Don’t make excuses for them either eventually your kid will see right thru that.Let your child make up their own mind when it comes to how they veiw the non custodial parent. My son’s dad is a pro at this (breaking his word that is). I try very hard to bite my tongue and say nothing,but deep down inside all I want to is call him an “irresponsible &^%, but I don’t. This will only make me feel better for a short time while it stings my son for a long time. He is only 11 and soon enough he will figure out whether or not his dad is worth getting upset over. Two weeks ago dad promised a trip to Disney world, the night before the trip he cancelled with the excuse ” I have to repair some equipment at work.” Ok so maybe that was the truth, but all O____ heard was ” I’m not gonna be there ……again.” Last year dad didn’t call or anything for Christmas or the boy’s birthday. How hurt would that make you?
When his dad had him full time , I was the one who was there every weekend to get him.If I couldn’t be there I called to explain why I was not going to be able to see him. I made the drive from my home in Volusia county out to Lake county every weekend .I live closer to them in Lake county now than before, yet dad has yet to drive out here to see his son or to pick him up for the weekend. Children seem like they “bounce back” but deep down inside the hurt grows.
Be sure and do this
If you are the non- custodial parent and your ex won’t let you see your kid(s) then that is just as wrong as you refusing to try.I have never tried to keep the two of them apart.Dad is doing fine all on his own at that. Remember our children need the input from both parents, ok your new partner is fine if they truly take a real interest in your kid but nobody can ever replace their dad or mom either. Remember it isn’t how much money you spend or time you give it’s the quality of time you share that makes all the difference in the world. Thirty minutes talking football with your son is better than 24 hours of just being in the same room. Think about it.
When and if you are able to,talk to the ex let them know what you think.Do it with out accusations or tempers.I know at times that can be easier said than done but it is worth it. Only keep a non-custodial parent away if there is real concern for abuse,or worse. First and foremost protect your child. If it means supervised visits then so be it. My son will be 12 very soon I am hopeful that his dad will come around ,but if he doesn’t I will still be here. Moms we will always be there in some fashion for our kids.It’s what we do.