If you are involved in a custody battle for your child, you have probably heard people tell you that you need to love your child more than you dislike your ex. This is certainly true. You might think your ex is the worst person on Earth and wish you never had to see him or her again. Your ex might be treating you in a cruel and unfair way during the custody battle. No matter what, you must always remain calm and concentrate on loving your child or children.
You must love your child enough to avoid talking about the custody case to or in front of him or her. Do not say things about the impending case to your child that would cause him or her to worry. You do not want your child to think that they will see you less or that they will see their other parent less. It is important that your child not feel as if their life will be drastically changing as a result of the custody case. Do all you can to shield your child from the facts of the case.
Never talk poorly about the other parent in your frustration over the custody case. Do not tell your child that their mom or dad is trying to take them away from you. Avoid the temptation to tell your son or daughter that their other parent is a bad person or a bad parent. You must love your child enough not to dump all your negative thoughts about your ex onto your child.
Reassure your children during the duration of the custody case. Your child is likely to be nervous about the outcome of the visitation case if they are old enough to have an understanding of what is occurring. Make certain your child knows how much you love them. You should also remind your child that their other parent loves them very much as well. Your child will need as much reassurance as possible that they are loved by both parents.
Try to keep your child’s routine as normal as possible during the custody case. Do not deviate from your child’s usual schedule. Do not allow your child to stay up late because you are busy worrying about the case. Do not attempt to keep your child from their visitation schedule with the other parent unless there is a court order allowing you to do so (for your child’s best interests). Keep things at home as regular as possible for your children.
Do not attempt to make your child’s other parent look like the worst person in the world in order to win custody. Obviously if your ex has behaviors or a lifestyle that puts your child at risk then this must be pointed out. However, do not take part in “mudslinging” with your ex during the custody battle. Fighting dirty may or may not help you win your case and it is not worth the risk of your child being put in the middle.
Instead of dragging your child’s other parent through the mud in an attempt to win custody, concentrate on showing why you are better able to provide a stable home for your child. Spend time showing the court that you are indeed an exemplary parent and that your child will thrive if you are their custodial parent.
You must remember that no matter what your ex says or does to try to get a negative reaction out of you during the custody case, that you want what is best for your child. Do not allow your ex’s actions or the fact that you do not like him or her very much cause you to stoop to a lower level. Instead, just concentrate on loving your child more!