Women in their forties who have one or both parents still alive are in a very unique position. With children that still need a certain amount of care and guidance, there is also a certain amount of attention that needs to be given to the aging parents. Having a full plate, many and varied responsibilities and also the unique perspective of raising their own children for a certain number of years, the relationship between the adult child and aging parents can have it’s fair amount of challenges. This article will offer some suggestions on how women in their forties can enjoy a more fulfilling and peaceful relationship with her parents.
Let Go Of Old Resentments Toward Your Parents.
We all wish certain things were done differently in our childhoods. After giving birth and raising our own children, there are certainly at least a few situations we can compare to our childhood where we strongly disagree about how our parents handled them. If you have carried these resentments through adulthood, now is the time to let them go. Most parents do the best with what they know and what they have. If you have managed not to repeat the mistakes you believe your parents made, good for you. Celebrate your evolved method of child rearing and let your parents off the hook. The forties should be about acceptance, forgiveness and a desire to make the next forty years on this planet better than the first forty. The first step in forging a better relationship with your parents and therefore becoming a better adult child, is to truly let go of any bitterness and resentment carried on from childhood.
Have Patience For You Will One Day Be In Your Parent’s Shoes.
If your aging parent has become forgetful, increasingly dependent on you, and somewhat needy, try to act with patience and kindness. This can certainly be challenging at times when work, household and child care responsibilities of your own are energy and patience sappers. Keep in mind that time is marching on for all of us, and one day sooner rather than later, you will be your parents’ age and face the same frustrations and limitations as them. Showing patience and compassion towards your aging parents will help you both form a deeper relationship. It will also help to diminish the uncomfortable feelings your parents may sometimes experience, having to rely on you more and more.
Involve Your Parents In Your Life As Much As Possible.
It may sometimes be inconvenient to include your parents in your family’s activities, but making the effort is well worth it. It is truly a gift you will be giving your parents and will bring them much joy and contentment in their sunset years.
Ask Your Parents To Share Their Memories, Traditions And Wisdom.
Aging parents appreciate feeling needed and having their experiences and wisdom valued. Though you certainly have enough child rearing, holidays and life challenges behind you, give your parents the opportunity to share their unique offerings with you. Call Mom to ask her advice on how to deal with your surly teenage son. Ask Dad to share his technique on the best way to carve a turkey. Your parents will bask in the feelings that come with being needed and appreciated. You will also gain some very important life lessons as well as family traditions to pass down to your own children.